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Newest Member: Giupeppe (46032)

User Topic: I think this is a good example...
Clarrissa
♀ 21886
Member # 21886
Content  Posted: 10:41 AM, December 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Of how much progress I've made in the last 5 years.

Yesterday at work we received our bonus (6% of our gross income ) and at first I was just going to deposit it in the bank, not say anything to my H. You know, a surprise, even though he knew it was coming. But, I told him I got it. So yeah, I told him bonuses were in but it crossed my mind to keep the dollar amount to myself, still a little bit of a surprise. Nope, couldn't keep that to myself either. I told him the exact amount.

I've told him every time before this but what's different about this time was I immediately dismissed the idea of keeping the info from him. I even told myself "Nah, you'll tell him." I never seriously considered NOT telling him.


BH Cee64D - 48
WW (me) - 49


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.


Posts: 5896 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: A better place
mindbody
♀ 27941
Member # 27941
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, December 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats Clarrissa, it is progress. You adjusted your thought processes and applied transparency on your own.

I immediately dismissed the idea of keeping the info from him.

Sounds as though it is becoming a habit. I can see the value to complete honesty all the time. The fact that you feel good about

Nope, couldn't keep that to myself either.

demonstrates your healing.


Posts: 308 | Registered: Mar 2010
knightsbff
♀ 36853
Member # 36853
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, December 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep, sounds like progress to me. Identifying and changing old, unhealthy thought processes. Good for you!


FWW 40's
D-day August 27, 2012
3 kids and 2 dogs

I edit often because I make a lot of typos. ☺️


Posts: 1525 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Deep South, USA
Clarrissa
♀ 21886
Member # 21886
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, December 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I *did* want it to be a surprise and it was to some extent, even to me considering I was off work for a couple months early this year (workers comp injury to my wrist). What I had envisioned was dropping the check in the bank and waiting for H to check the balance (which he does more often lately as finances have been a bit tight) and surprising him that way but as it turned out, I told him the first chance I had once I had check in hand. Another benefit was it eased his mind that we could take care of the bills and still have some "mad money".


BH Cee64D - 48
WW (me) - 49


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.


Posts: 5896 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: A better place
KBeguile
♂ 38348
Member # 38348
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, December 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

+1

Very nicely done!


Me: fWS 32
Her: BS 35 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 4yo
M: 7 years
DDays: 2012/11/14, 2013/02/05, 2013/03/09
-
"Everything that happens now is happening 'now.'"
"What happened to 'then'?"
"We passed 'then.'"

Posts: 802 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: St. Louis
lemony.2008
♀ 20125
Member # 20125
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, December 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely a good example that shows progress!


Feel the feelings and drop the story. - Pema Chodron


Posts: 2243 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 6

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