Last night there was a chance to see my xBF. I promised my BSO, the day after D-day, that I would have NC with him. The reason for that was because he is not a friend of the relationship (i.e. tried to get me to go to strip clubs, encouraged me to be more independent in relationship, never call me on things that might not be best for the relationship, etc.) and he is a narcissist. I enlisted him to help me hide the contact with my xF, and I also had him talk to my BSO on the phone and lie to her.
I had mixed feelings at the possibility of seeing him. I know that for my own personal growth and the sake of the relationship I need to have NC with him. On the other hand he was my first true friend. We had been friends since grade school.
Thankfully he wasn't there. I don't want to see him, because I am starting to make progress in moving forward from the old life that I used to live. But at the same time I miss having the one person that knows everything about me.