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Its been rough. I am grasping at things to make me laugh.

Here are mine:

1) I get my beautiful turkey fern (guys at vfw know hold one for me. Luv em). This one is a beauty. Not tall (5 ft 6ish) but full. At the tips it has little pine cones. Natural decorations

I go to buy lights. I opt for Targets wheel of lights. White.

A couple of days after the lights are up I figure out how to plug them in (need two extension cords...I am so tired lately I cant think straight). The top half of the tree is pee yellow (which I find out today is "cool white" and the bottom is a blinding LED soft (?) white. Wh adds to the mess by drapping a different type bulb of colored (mostly red) lights. Maybe it will be okay once the decorations are up. (We went to Target to buy next yrs lights: blue)

2) A sweet customer (yes, I do have those...not ALL are assholes) brings me a bottle of something wrapped in a santa suit complete with little hat. She tells me to drink it soon as the fizz is going out of it

I think, " juice" and take it back to the kitchen to share with my coworkers. I pop it open, poor myself a smalm glass and drink quickly.

Ugh ..it wasnt just juice. It was happy juice.

I put the bottle back in its santa suit and hat and it came home with me. I am not sharing

Anyone have a funny misadventure?

[This message edited by sullymeishadomi at 1:25 PM, December 22nd (Sunday)]

I have a very dear, long-time friend; her nickname is Gooch. For some reason (I never learned why), her father's nickname was Pecker.

We always had a Christmas party for our friends. One year in addition to our regular crowd, I also invited some of my more sedate, new coworkers. The X was behind the bar when my friend walked down the stairs (almost everyone else was there already), and he yelled out, "Hey Gooch! How's your Pecker?"

My new friends were It was priceless

The other story is the old chestnut about DS's Christmas wish when he was four--he wanted those large balls that are now used as exercise balls. He had seen them in a catalog. When he sat on Santa's lap and was asked the question, "What do you want for Christmas?" he yelled, "BIG BALLS!" (I was frantically waving the catalog at Santa )

Oh wow! About 6 years ago, we went to my husband's work Christmas party at the Westin resort on the San Antonio river walk. So nice, and we were all dressed to the nines for gambling night and prizes and open bar! But guess what? I don't drink :) so there I am sipping dr pepper all evening, playing blackjack (lost big), roulette (lost bigger) and bingo! (still no winner), but it's ok: not real money anyway :)

We were getting bussed back to the other Westin resort after it was all over, (more drinks on the bus, except for me drinking dr pepper), so the atmosphere was quite merry. Everybody was in some stage of intoxication. All the big wigs were in our bus. I was the first one off and I FELL off the last step! In my gown, I made a very ungraceful X face down by the bus. I hopped right up but everyone saw it me the only stone-cold sober person there took a header off the bus.

The next morning, people kept asking about my hangover, and just couldn't believe I hadn't been drinking. Oh well, clumsy people rock!

"Who put pineapple juice in my pineapple juice?"

—W.C. Fieldsd