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Disastergirl posted 12/22/2013 13:46 PM

Feel so bad

[This message edited by Disastergirl at 2:23 PM, December 22nd (Sunday)]

SurprisinglyOkay posted 12/22/2013 14:42 PM

Welcome to SI.

There is not a lot to go on here...

What do you feel bad about?

Read around in the healing library, you get there in the top left corner of the page.

It's a bit slow around here on the weekends...just so you know

You can get a lot of help here, but being a bit more specific helps.

jo2love posted 12/22/2013 14:51 PM

Disastergirl,

Hello. Welcome to SI. This is a safe place to share, learn, work on yourself, and help with different aspects of the healing process. Our Healing Library is a wealth of information (the link is on the left side of the screen). Our members have compassion, empathy, and are a great support team.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:52 PM, December 22nd (Sunday)]

LosferWords posted 12/22/2013 14:53 PM

Hello and welcome, Disastergirl.

I hope you feel comfortable talking to us and sharing your story at some point.

We're here to help you work through things.

Disastergirl posted 12/22/2013 16:00 PM

I have marriage problems. I had a ONS. Feel awful and was so drunk I really don't know all the details. I can't tell my H. I clearly have issues and this was not the way to deal. So many possible consequences. So much shame.

LosferWords posted 12/23/2013 09:39 AM

Sorry for my slow response. Like broevil said, it is slow around here on the weekends, and even more so during holiday weekends.

What are the problems in your marriage? One thing that I will say that I like about your initial posting here is that you mentioned that you have problems in your marriage, and in a different sentence you said that you had an ONS. Those two are totally separate things. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but that is the reality of it. The problems in your marriage are separate from what you did. Good for you for realizing that early on, whether that was consciously or subconsciously.

There will be no good time to tell him, but it is important that you tell him what has happened. That is just my opinion. He will be devastated. But we are here to help you through. And him, too.

What is your game plan in the near future?

I'm glad that you have found us, and I hope you continue to post here. We are here to help and support.

Disastergirl posted 12/23/2013 14:41 PM

Thanks very much for response. My perception is that the two are related but not an excuse of either. Some of the issues are so awful and complicated I couldn't ever post them. Feel like a waste of space at the moment but I'm not going to tell H. There are many views on whether admitting such a thing is the right thing or not. Some think that it is not necessarily the right thing. Regardless of that I am a coward and cannot face the backlash. I think I would rather just leave and never tell. My head feels like it's going to explode.

[This message edited by Disastergirl at 2:42 PM, December 23rd (Monday)]

LosferWords posted 12/23/2013 20:02 PM

Have you thought about IC (Individual Counseling)? Sometimes talking through this stuff out loud with a therapist or counselor can be tremendously helpful. It was very helpful for me.

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