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Help!! Going down the spiral again.

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Scorpio2310 posted 12/22/2013 15:02 PM

My BSO and I were talking about what lead me down the spiral towards my EAs. She started to ask my why I wanted to go back to xF after the way she treated me (constantly cheating on me, lying to me, playing emotional games, etc). I quickly internalized that question and the self-pity and self-loathing came on in full swing as she got up due to my response about my wavering right before D-day on whether I came back to my BSO because my xF was not available.

Instead of pulling away I asked my BSO to come back. I was scared that I was heading down the same spiral as before. Last time I tried to handle it by myself and I ended up having not one but TWO EAs! This time I did what my BSO and I had agreed upon, and let her know what was going on inside me and talk with her about it.

The reason I am posting this is because I am still having wishy-washy feelings about myself. In the past I have tried to boost myself up and I have tried having my BSO boost me up with no effect at all. My BSO thought that I should turn here for advice.

Unagie posted 12/22/2013 15:41 PM

You came here and shared instead of giving into old coping mechanisms. Thats good, thats growth. Find healthy ways to release your emotions and continue work on yourself. You may noy see it but you're taking the steps. Keep working and you'll start seeing it for what it is.

Scorpio2310 posted 12/23/2013 00:02 AM

Thanks unagie. I does help to hear that I am on the right path.

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