Doing some prep for Christmas and it just hit me that around 10 pm tonight will be exactly 1 year since I finally got a hold of her unlocked cell phone and found the texts proving she had been in his bed a few days before.
I kind of wish I hadn't realized the date as today was going quite nicely.
A year ago I was sitting having drinks with the OM and my WW in my living room when she drunkenly left her phone on the table and I took it to the bathroom. I came out of the washroom and told him it was time for him to go home and then I waited until she passed out and used her phone to get into her gmail account where I found 400+ email messages, some were between him and her but mostly she was emailing herself like a diary. She sent screen shots of her sexy texts and facebook messages and annotated them quite nicely for me.
I confronted her and at first she denied but that only lasted a couple of hours while I went for a walk. When I got back she confessed to everything and my world went into a complete tail spin. She was going to leave and go to her mothers and I told her there was no way she was ruining the kids Chritmas. This lead us to spend a lot of time together locked in our bedroom talking, and eventually being intimate.
Over the next couple of months I made the "mistake" of trying to see if there was still a chance I could be friends with the OM (We have known each other for over 30 years) but after a couple of months realized that this was a stupid idea.
My WW and I have made a lot of progress and have thankfully become closer. I still have my trigger moments and sometimes feel a lot of anger toward her. I suffered depression which I firmly believe led to my being "laid off" from my job...but I found a new one that I start next year!
As for him, I am quite happy HATING his guts. People say that hate will eat you up and forgiveness will liberate you but I say that letting myself feel true hate for him was directly related to my regaining and building on my own self respect.
It may seem symbolic but it feels like, once 2014 begins I will be able to write 2013 off and move forward with this in the past. It will always be part of our marriage story, as are all the other good and bad things that have happened in our lives but hopefully we will look back on this at some point with nothing more than melancholy.
As for the OM, my only wish is to find out that he was killed in a car accident or died of a heart attach so I can go piss on his grave and there will finally be closure.