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During the day, I am totally functional now, mostly anyway. I have a hard time sleeping. I'm so tired. When I finally do fall asleep, my sleep is just invaded by dreams. Then I wake up, often with this piecing pain and feeling like my heart is breaking all over again. Can't he at least leave me alone in my sleep? G-damn....

(((((NoReGrets))))) The one time we can't actively work to flush unwanted crap from our minds.

Can you try visualizing what you want to dream about before you go to sleep? Our pediatrician recommended that technique for DD when she was having bad dreams (about people killing horses, naturally). It took a while, but it seemed to do the trick for her.

In the meantime, sending you comfort and sweet dream mojo.

I can relate but I am on the other side I was the one who had the affair. I feel not sleeping is part of my punishment. You might try journaling right before you go to bed and see if that helps. If not seek medical advice there are several safe sleep meds out there today.

This time around, I've been self-medicating with a couple glasses of wine. Not to get wasted, but just enough to take some of the edge off. My biggest problem is staying asleep. Within an hour or two of sleep, I wake up due to painful dreams. I then wake up and remember my reality and I feel the piercing pain all over again. Eventually I fall back asleep, but the same things happens an hour later.

I just want some peace, even if it's for the short period of my unconscious state.

Today has been a rough day...

I've always had insomnia in times of stress. Right now is without a doubt the most stressful time I've ever experienced. Wine is a friend of mine but, like you, it wears off at 3am and I'm up, mind racing. I know from experiene that everything in my life is worse if I can't sleep. Taking care of myself right now means .25 mg of Xanax a night. I won't be on it forever, but it helps me for now.

Irony: the only other time in my life that I used it was when i was under the stress of getting married and planning a honeymoon. I'm here all week, folks! Tip your waitress!

[This message edited by Calli0pe at 10:19 PM, December 23rd (Monday)]

I've been taking a double dose of Benadryl. It's been getting me through till about 5:00 am. It doesn't take away the piercing pain that comes back as soon as I'm fully awake and remember the hell I'm living in, but at least I'm getting some sleep now.