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NoReGrets (original poster member #37902) posted at 2:02 PM on Monday, December 23rd, 2013
During the day, I am totally functional now, mostly anyway. I have a hard time sleeping. I'm so tired. When I finally do fall asleep, my sleep is just invaded by dreams. Then I wake up, often with this piecing pain and feeling like my heart is breaking all over again. Can't he at least leave me alone in my sleep? G-damn.... 
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 5:37 PM on Monday, December 23rd, 2013
(((((NoReGrets))))) The one time we can't actively work to flush unwanted crap from our minds.
Can you try visualizing what you want to dream about before you go to sleep? Our pediatrician recommended that technique for DD when she was having bad dreams (about people killing horses, naturally). It took a while, but it seemed to do the trick for her.
In the meantime, sending you comfort and sweet dream mojo.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Kap12 ( member #41759) posted at 2:52 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
I can relate but I am on the other side I was the one who had the affair. I feel not sleeping is part of my punishment. You might try journaling right before you go to bed and see if that helps. If not seek medical advice there are several safe sleep meds out there today.
NoReGrets (original poster member #37902) posted at 3:10 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
This time around, I've been self-medicating with a couple glasses of wine. Not to get wasted, but just enough to take some of the edge off. My biggest problem is staying asleep. Within an hour or two of sleep, I wake up due to painful dreams. I then wake up and remember my reality and I feel the piercing pain all over again. Eventually I fall back asleep, but the same things happens an hour later.
I just want some peace, even if it's for the short period of my unconscious state.
Today has been a rough day...
Calli0pe ( new member #41683) posted at 4:18 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
I've always had insomnia in times of stress. Right now is without a doubt the most stressful time I've ever experienced. Wine is a friend of mine but, like you, it wears off at 3am and I'm up, mind racing. I know from experiene that everything in my life is worse if I can't sleep. Taking care of myself right now means .25 mg of Xanax a night. I won't be on it forever, but it helps me for now.
Irony: the only other time in my life that I used it was when i was under the stress of getting married and planning a honeymoon. I'm here all week, folks! Tip your waitress!
[This message edited by Calli0pe at 10:19 PM, December 23rd (Monday)]
Me: BS, 35
Him: WS, 37
Married 5.5 years, friends for 10 before that
D-Day: Nov 29 2013
"Massage" parlors & Casual Encounters
Working on R, not sure I can live with it.
NotFixable ( member #41608) posted at 4:30 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013
I've been taking a double dose of Benadryl. It's been getting me through till about 5:00 am. It doesn't take away the piercing pain that comes back as soon as I'm fully awake and remember the hell I'm living in, but at least I'm getting some sleep now.
Me-BS
Him-WH
Married 13 years
DD #1 03/12
DD #2 11/20/13
DD #3 came after the others although it was with whore #1. Took a while to admit to her because she's so fat and disgusting.
So many additional AP came out later that I lost count.
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