his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
neighbor's 70 year old husband died a couple weeks ago. I got her a sympathy card and hubby and I walked over with a plate of goodies to drop off. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to stay and talk with her. But I did. Hubby gave her a hug goodbye and she moved towards me for a hug but I apparently missed this.
I have maintained the last year that being with someone who is experiencing grief is an honorable thing. Someone who is grieving is close to God, their soul is being opened up and their anguish is something the rest of us should be present for. I was not. Why? Because the conflict avoidance ugly beast inside me raised it's ugly head.
I'm so disappointed in myself. I thought my values were screwed on straight and tight and they're not. If I just would have talked to myself before we went. I think i have it all figured out but I still need work.
Thanks for listening. I know it doesn't have anything to do with infidelity but owning being uncomfortable and doing the tough but right thing does...
[This message edited by rachelc at 8:42 AM, December 23rd (Monday)]
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”