So, here's my question. Each Christmas, I was giving her a Christmas gift that I was taking a lot of time to choose, a special gift. This year, even if I still love her, I don't even feel that I should buy her a gift. She had a PA and lied to me for a whole year, I think that she doesn't even deserve a lump of coal. When she saw that there was no gift for her under the Christmas tree, she even came to me saying that when I will give her a gift, she wants me to truly mean it.
So my question is : What are you going to do this Christmas?
I think I will only buy her a small gift so the children won't ask any questions.
I'm still hurting badly, can't get enthusiastic about the holiday. I ordered for him the one gift he specifically wanted, but that's it. However, there are several gifts under the tree for me - I think he is probably over-compensating and doubt I'll be able to be properly gracious.
I can't help but have my doubts and suspicions about him. Since his affair was with a COW and they're still working together.
But Merry Christmas to you, Green Giant!
This year, we talked about what we wanted for Christmas and he told me that all he wanted was a specific book and a quiet day together to enjoy each other. So, that's what I have on store. I have the book, I have a card, need to wrap the book, and, well, I'll probably give him a quiet day AFTER he unwraps his other gift ... . Because I have a few bows, strategically placed, that ought to do the trick. And I know that the 2nd gift he wasn't given him last Christmas!
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Here's what I'll do finally. I bought her a small gift, which isn't personalized at all (I was first planning at giving her a nice watch, or gold earrings). The bigger gift that will be unwrapped by her is actually labelled to the whole family. I don't want to be harsh, but at the same time I am asking her to be authentic, and I think I wouldn't be if I was demonstrating fake attention.
Merry Christmas to all of you!
My one gift to him is also pretty ironic. He claims that he was interested in getting a massage pre-escorts, and that it was pop-up escort ads while looking for a massage therapist that kind of planted the seed in his head to go to an escort. He's really been having problems in his neck and shoulder, so I bought him gift certificates for two 45 minute massages. With a legit registered massage therapist. It's kind of trigger-y for me but I'll deal. I got him a neck and shoulder heating pad as well. I got him 4 t-shirts from a big & tall store because regular ones always end up too short on him. I got him a couple of 1000-piece puzzles because we like to do them together, something we used to do long ago and recently did again. I got him a couple of bottles of his favourites wines and some dark chocolate, his favourite. I got him something else he'd been asking for, and a saucy Xmas card. I think he'll be surprised that I got him anything.
Thinking ahead to his birthday, I'm going to arrange for us to fly over our house and along the Great Lake near where we live. There are 2 flying clubs in our area that offer sightseeing tours. I think he'll really like that.
So I checked my journals...and I did give him nothing, I think. It was also my second Xmas post DD, like you, but I had the added drama of finding out about more TT through a failed polygraph. Which he handled badly. I basically took my ring off three weeks before Xmas and coasted through the holiday. Obviously a lot has happened since then that was more positive, but it was bad enough back then I blocked it out.
So anyway, I don't think it matters what you give her. If you are just making a show for the kids, she's going to know. You already gave her the greatest gift she could ever get - you are still there, and she is not out on her ass. In my book that's a pretty awesome present.
However, I love her. I bought her a book of 50 places you must see in your life and a certificate promise to take her to as many as we can the rest of our life together. I want to travel the world with her.
I've loved hearing your stories though, it's great to know many get past this I just doubt that I can.
Hope you all enjoy Christmas, love and best wishes for the New Year xx
That's All. 'Nuff said.
We will R and I love him so I've bought what I knew he wanted and stuck to a budget we agreed for each other.
Just want the whole Christmas preparation to be over now.
"We're not broken, just bent. We can learn to love again."
I have decided to put all of my energy into staying positive and not 'festering' in negative thoughts, so there's nothing really left to give to this season.
Christmas? Meh. Whatever. But if you're goal is to punish someone, you might want to re-think that. I know that my fWH is punishing himself enough right now, and I really don't want to build that kind of energy in our house.
I dunno, just a few random thoughts from my head.
ballroom dance lessons for both of us, which I enjoyed more than she did.
Love this idea. Quality time for both of you, and something that you will enjoy.
Or, membership in the cheese of the month club. :)
My H is getting a book. He asked me not to buy him anything, which was very helpful. I am a gift-giver, and I always put a lot of thought into every gift, and last year we had a false-R Christmas. Not really feeling like doing that ever again.
Ok, not funny.
We weren't going to exchange gifts (we agreed on this way back on Dday), but I knew he'd get me something anyway - and he did.
I'm going to get him something but I can't really afford to right now because I didn't budget for it. We're doing gifts @ his mom's this afternoon and she usually give cash so maybe I'l pick up something on the way home (even considering going to the mall on Xmas Eve must prove I love him, right)? He's pretty easy to buy for, loves Batman and Dr Who, so I might get him a novelty hoodie or t shirt. Mercifully, we have no kids to keep up appearances for.
Oh, I think it's funny! A little dark humor to get us through...
For Christmas, he is getting the second-hand benefit of some things I bought for myself Those things are just as much for me, though.