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dear SI

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evil

 whiteflower99 (original poster member #13937) posted at 7:20 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013

Infidelity sucks.

Thank you for listening.

Just having a moment. Was trying to be intimate w him and just failed because I can't get OWx out of my mind.

Starting to hate her.

Starting to hate him a little too.

I already hate the way I feel.

Sigh.

This freaking sucks.

What are you pretending not to know?

me FBS
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way.

posts: 2187   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2007   ·   location: Not Lothlorien
id 6610047
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jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 7:26 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013

(((whiteflower99)))

posts: 51035   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011
id 6610050
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nomistakeaboutit ( member #36857) posted at 10:56 AM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013

Whiteflower,

The images must be painful. I never had mind movies, I guess because I knew I was done when I found out. I mention that for this reason. I never had them, maybe because my mind knew that I didn't need that warning system in place. I was not threatened (emotionally) since my xWW's A was a deal breaker for me. It makes me think that the people who do have the images and mind movies are those whose minds are still trying to warn them that they are in a dangerous situation, one which could potentially hurt them emotionally.

I read your profile, and it seems your H has multiple A's and has lied to you, previously. Your mind knows this. It knows the pain you suffered. It's simply sending you warning signals. Maybe it would be good to see them as a healthy indication that your mind is working nicely to try and protect you.

The emotional threat is lying next you, and you're trying to make emotionally emotionally vulnerable to that which has hurt you before. You don't feel emotionally safe. So, the question is, is your mind overprotecting you, or protecting you?

Me: BH 65.........Her: WW 55
DD: 15.......DS: 12. (5 and 2 on DDay)
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................

posts: 1306   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2012   ·   location: U.S.A.
id 6610104
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