Just needing to vent please? Feeling very 'vengeful' today (which is most unusual for me to blame OW as I don't believe she's the one I should be focusing my anger on but I have weak days). At least I know I'm safe here to vent with my fellow SI'ers. Thank you all!
Do you realise how pathetic you look? Has it not yet occurred to you that you look like a juvenile bitch on heat continously sniffing around a married man? The word loose doesn't even begin to describe you.
Not only do you look pathetic but have you ever stopped to think that he would never respect or even trust you after the way you and he have conducted yourselves? All your little 'friendship' is based on is lies and deceit. I'm really surprised (or perhaps not!) that you have not realised the game he is playing with you. You must be deeply 'smitten' to not see what is plain as day.
You've attempted to make two moves on him, over the last year, and twice he declines to reciprocate. I'm certainly not implying he's any KISA, no, most definitely not! But girls like yourself have only ever been repulsive to him. It's fun to be fancied, admired and to play a few flirty games to stroke an tender ego but did you honestly believe you are/were something 'special'? It's laughable really! He and I have shared all of what the two of you have discussed and done and all I can do is feel extreme pity for you.
Amazingly, you've also managed to fall into the trap of feeling the emotion of jealously. Which is incredible! I'm not sure when you thought you had the right to that emotion? However, I much prefer you feel these feelings rather than me. It's so incredible to watch the moment the threat of another woman arrives on the scene, to 'stroke' his juvinile and low ego, you become jealous. Sorry, but the colour green doesn't become you. Although in saying that, perhaps green is the perfect colour for you! Now you know that you are no more 'special' than any other 'ego stroking', broken and sad person that may come along. How awfully hurtful is that? I couldn't even imagine how angry and hurt you must be! Once again, it's only pity I have for you.
All I can say is that I hope your boyfriend, who I believe you so want to marry, see's through you and your misleading and promiscuous behaviour with other married men before he becomes a BS too. Good luck and thank you for all the pain you've helped to provide to me and my family. Hope Karma is kinder to you one day however I doubt it!
S2B and two incredible DS's. Me: BS Married 11 years, together 21
Him:WH - EA (PA?) with engaged COW.
'If you come into my life, the door is open; If you leave my life, the door is open; Just one request, don't stand in the doorway, you're blocking the traffic'