We got to dinner and I burst into tears. Everything was wrong. He has been away, I was leaving the next day. I hate flying. He cheated last year around this time. It was too much. We only had a few hours to spend together and I spent the entire time crying, panicking, and feeling like dying.
He just say there with me, unsure what to do. And all the happy couples around us tried their best not to stare. I felt like shouting, "THIS IS PROBABLY HAPPENING TO SOME OF YOU RIGHT NOW AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!"
I feel like I ruined Christmas for us. Now I'm halfway around the world, wondering what he's up to and hoping that I can get through this next week. Christmas used to be my favourite holiday. No more.
Hang in there. Take care of yourself. You can get through this.
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
And because of his actions, your emotions got the better of you, and you justifiably and understandably cried in public. You had a panic attack due to his actions.
theansweris42, YOU didn't ruin Christmas. HE did. It was very brave of you to try to go out with him, knowing that you only had 24 hours together. But HE is the one who's actions caused all of this. Not you. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012
YOU didn't *ruin* anything. You attempted to put on a brave face and were emotionally overloaded. Be kind to yourself and take it slow and easy.....
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Any two of those things on the above list would have made me cry and hyperventilate.
Three or more things on that list would have made me cry, hyperventilate, strangle him, and throw chairs at the others in the vicinity.
Girl, you're made of STEEL. You didn't ruin Christmas. You held your shit together, and I am impressed.
Together 8 years
DDay: June 24, 2013
Not even a month after dday my husband and I went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant.
I had a drink, um, ok, maybe 2...
I let lose at the table like you wouldn't believe. I mean snots rolling down my face...booger bubbles, crying like a crazy lady, you name it. The waitress kept walking up to our table with a look of fear.
My husband suggested we leave and go talk somewhere more private.
Yeah, I didn't go for that option. I told him he needed to sit and listen to me and no we were not leaving. He was so uncomfortable and people were staring at me.
So what? I bet many of those people have cried in public before. I bet most people have lost their shit and you know what? Our spouses need to be embarassed a bit, need to see this pain, feel the shame and know they have taken us somewhere that nobody wants to go.
You didn't ruin Christmas, he drove a fucking torpedo through your world. You've earned the right to lose it.
Be good to you, and know, you will get Christmas back. Give it time.