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Newest Member: 321maison

Divorce/Separation :
ohhh, should I care???

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 BAB61 (original poster member #41181) posted at 10:02 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013

So I kicked him out (and he left, buahahaha) on the 7th of Dec. Had not heard from him at all. He did contact the kids 1x on fb. Now I get an e-mail telling me the rent check (from our paid for house in NY) cleared, but since I had spent XX amount there was only 100 for him and 100 for me left. Sh*thead knows I'm going to need more to visit my Mom and bros ... wtf? Really .. too bad, so sad I'm going to use the credit card if I have to.

Then as a postscript he mentions that he knows I went to a lawyer and he's going to go too. Who cares, I went to a lawyer to find out my rights and what he doesn't know is Thursday I'm going to the lawyer and plop the cc down and put 3K on it for a retainer!! lol

Merry Christmas to me!

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

posts: 1271   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2013   ·   location: DE
id 6610598
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lifestoshort ( member #18442) posted at 11:12 PM on Tuesday, December 24th, 2013

you can use the charge cards till the hearing. then you both are responsible for half those bills till that hearing

Im 45. 1st H I left in 2001 after 3 kids. narcassist.
2nd exH had MANY affairs.FALSE R. cheats again. D 5/09. 2 kids. I got 100% custody. ex hasnt seen kids in 6 yrs.
2014 to now: dated highschool sweetheart. He cheated w 23 yr old & left.

posts: 1061   ·   registered: Mar. 2nd, 2008
id 6610641
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 BAB61 (original poster member #41181) posted at 12:24 AM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

We have 6 months of separation before the hearing as I understand it. I'm putting the whole retainer on it, and will be asking for legal fees to be paid. Even tho it is a no-fault state I can cite adultery as the cause. My lawyer seems to think I will get the legal fees paid. Due to state law I am also eligible for alimony. I'm going to milk that cow as long as possible. He used 'our' money to wine and dine his slunts (I don't know who came up with that moniker - but I love it!) it's the least he can do.

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

posts: 1271   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2013   ·   location: DE
id 6610689
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 12:42 AM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Make sure to ferret out the money he used for his affairs. 1/2 of that money was yours, so make sure that you know how much so you can ask for it back.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6610699
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 7:42 AM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Sounds like you have this covered Bab - but how does he know you went to a lawyer...? Sounds like you have a hole you have to plug.

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6611093
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 BAB61 (original poster member #41181) posted at 8:21 AM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

I used our joint credit card to pay for the consult Take2, and I'm going to use it for the 3k retainer too. I am not trying to hide what I'm doing. I'm too straightforward, I know that can be used against me, but really I have physical proof of his A's .. and that's my ace in the hole.

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

posts: 1271   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2013   ·   location: DE
id 6611107
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 5:37 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

Hahaha... Carry on BAB! That is so much better than a hole that needs plugging!

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6613650
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