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Jen posted 12/24/2013 21:48 PM

I remember my first Christmas here on the boards and it was scary, and oh so lonely. Just a note to know your not alone and someone is thinking of you all tonight, tomorrow and as you start the new year.

(((Hugs to you all)))

swizzlestick03 posted 12/24/2013 21:52 PM

Me too! That first Christmas JFO was horrible! Even though it doesn't seem like it right now, you will not only survive this horrific mess, you will thrive! It really will be ok--and you will be ok too!

Thinking of us all tonight struggling with the monster that is infidelity. May you all know you are loved and cared about tonight, from our home to yours.

Skan posted 12/24/2013 22:04 PM

(((hugs))) Last year was my 1st year. I remember how strange it was. I'm glad to be here for y-all.

Jen posted 12/24/2013 22:09 PM

Because, well, simply Minions are awesome

[This message edited by booger bear at 10:10 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)]

tryingagain74 posted 12/24/2013 22:13 PM

Great thread, BB.

This is my third Christmas after DDay, and it gets better every year. You'll get through this, and you're not alone.

Sending the JFO folk positive thoughts and strength to get through the holidays.

mandan66 posted 12/24/2013 22:29 PM

BIG thanks to all of you!!!
I am sitting here right now stuggling; and I thought earlier in the day I was going to be fine---wrong!!!
My first alone (the X has the kids) ever in my life, I think. It is hard, and really strange when I think about it.

7yrsflushed posted 12/24/2013 22:38 PM

Yep over 2 years out from Dday, the kids are with STBXWW tonight. Santa has already been to my house so thinking of others on SI as well. Holidays do get better with time.

Jen posted 12/24/2013 22:39 PM


I really just cannot imagine having to share children. It is a bitter pill for me to swallow but I am thankful Xh and I have no children. I really don't think I could do it. Those of you who do have my immense respect and awe ... So many of you carry it off W/O problem, one that the kids can see. Breaks my heart when you all come here to vent/sad.

I wish for you strength and peace this Holiday. I wish I could do more ....

Chrysalis123 posted 12/24/2013 23:39 PM

Thanks Booger Bear

It is hard, but coming here makes it ever so much easier.

caregiver9000 posted 12/25/2013 01:00 AM

Merry Christmas, BB! You are dear to me and so sweet to post this message. I will find and bump the hugs thread and you can put one of your great hugs pics there.

Hang in there all. This Christmas may be hard, but there are possibilities ahead that are worth getting to.

karmahappens posted 12/25/2013 05:46 AM

We are on our 7th Christmas after dday

Does that make me old?

I remember the first, I hadn't found SI and navigated through blindly. We hadn't decided to R yet and I spent most of the holidays covered in snot, tears and booger bubbles.

It gets better, don't try to make it special right now, just get through it. Enjoy the kids.

Take it slow and know we are all here knowing your pain and walking along side you.

(((hugs))) to everyone.

[This message edited by karmahappens at 5:47 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)]

Alex CR posted 12/25/2013 06:07 AM

This is our fourth Xmas since Dday....... I don't remember much about the first. Was in a state of shock.

But it does get better......

Be good to yourselves....hugs to everyone......

sunsetslost posted 12/25/2013 08:06 AM

I'm here too friends. It's my first Christmas "alone" but I'm not alone thanks to SI. Peace and strength to you all.

lordhasaplan? posted 12/25/2013 09:08 AM

Me too! Lots of us old farts around to help. That first year sucked. You can make it though, focus on kids and yourself. I would go to the bathroom to have my breakdown and then lock back in on DS.
You can do this!
Peace to all.

20Hopeful16 posted 12/25/2013 09:57 AM

Thank you all. It does suck. WH came over and opened gifts with the kids. Then he left to go back to the whore. I just feel so lonely. I know I have my kids, and soon my parents and other family, but I miss my husband. Not my WH, the good one that I had for the first 16 Christmases we spent together.

Skan posted 12/25/2013 11:46 AM

(((20hopeful16))) Try to enjoy your children and your family today. Your true family who love YOU and choose YOU.

Williesmom posted 12/25/2013 12:06 PM

This is my 6th Christmas alone since my D. I'll be seeing my family in a bit, which will be good.

But this evening, I'll be alone at home again.

Thank god for work tomorrow.

JerseyCowgirl posted 12/25/2013 13:02 PM

This is my 2nd. I too so sympathize with those of you with young children. But I truly believe that this time of the year is when those WS's really start to see the ramifications of their actions and finally a little bit of that hurt comes home to roost when they see they no longer have 24/7 access to their children, which we as the BS's figured this out at the onset. You will make your new family traditions and they will be
be good because of the great parents you all showed yourselves to be thru this.

Betteroffnow posted 12/25/2013 13:02 PM

Thanks for this. As I sit here in our home, 6 months pregnant while my toddler naps, I hate that my cheating husband is on his way to pick him up. This was supposed to me my first really great Christmas with our boy. He finally gets it! The excitement, the happiness, the family time. And two months ago it was all taken from me. Snatched from under my feet before I ever got my first perfect Christmas as a mom. And now, with a divorce in the future, I will never get that perfect Christmas. It eats me up inside.

Jen posted 12/25/2013 13:47 PM

As a child of D parents I can say you do not need both parents to have that perfect Christmas. Granted my parents D was very amicable, when we went to my dad's for a holiday we were there from start to finish, they didn't split 1/2 day here/there.

Then we got old enough to choose. Soon sports and friends made a difference where we were.

Point is my mom always made it a point to make it feel like the holiday no matter what holiday it was, whether we celebrated it early or late. We made our own traditions and it always felt special.

So many hugs to you all ....

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