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one year ago right now

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welcome14 posted 12/24/2013 23:32 PM

I was at my good friend's bedside. She had been diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme- an aggressive brain tumor in August. She was barely responsive, horribly swollen, and the tumor had sucked the personality out of her.

Every year, in their 39 years marriage, she and her husband hosted Christmas Eve for friends and family. Everyone pitched in to make sure it happened last year, I made a beef dip that my late mama made every Christmas, that my friend also made. No one else I have ever met makes it. I ate, shared camaraderie, and finally forced myself to go to her was so sad. She just wasn't present. I talked to her for a few minutes, and turned to leave. Started crying, and told her I loved her. She then turned, looked directly at me and said something. I couldn't understand her, but had to leave before I lost all control. I thought I would ask her another time. Stupid.

Got busy with Christmas, was going to see her New Year's day, but she died one minute into the New Year, surrounded by her hubby n 2 sons.

This woman dragged me kicking and screaming backwards through the thorny hedgerow of infidelity, back towards life. I would give anything to know what she said that night.

Moral? Don't put off for tomorrow that which you should do today.

2013, you have been a bitch motherfucker. Her death, loss of my 3 year new beginning relationship to the big I, and serious health issues, to include a broken shoulder 3 weeks ago, and estrangement of my DD and I from my DS, well, 2013, I will be glad to see you die.

vent over. thanks for your indulgence.

[This message edited by welcome14 at 11:35 PM, December 24th (Tuesday)]

AgainandAgain posted 12/25/2013 00:20 AM


I'm sitting here crying right now. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better but I know words are of no comfort.

Vent away. Getting out what you can can sometimes help a little. So many people are here to listen, lend an ear.

cinnamongurl posted 12/25/2013 00:22 AM

(((Welcome))) so sorry for your loss and your hellish year! May you find some peace (both within yourself, and in the rest of your life) this Christmas holiday and the coming new year!

Moral? Don't put off for tomorrow that which you should do today
^^this is so timely right now. Thanks for this!


jo2love posted 12/25/2013 00:29 AM


welcome14 posted 12/25/2013 00:39 AM

Thank you so much all of you sweethearts. This is why SI rocks, cause only you guys get it. much luvs peeps! And Merry Christmas!

welcome14 posted 12/25/2013 00:39 AM

dup/ dang, 2013, leave me alone!

[This message edited by welcome14 at 12:42 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)]

jo2love posted 12/25/2013 00:48 AM

Merry Christmas, welcome. I hope your 2014 is brighter and filled with joy.

nowiknow23 posted 12/25/2013 17:15 PM


jrc1963 posted 12/25/2013 17:55 PM


Here's to a kick-ass, awesome 2014!!!!

welcome14 posted 12/25/2013 23:57 PM

thanks again for listening and understanding. You all are always there to field anything I throw out. Bless this site. I shed a few more tears today and feel better. Thanks for the hugs. They help.

Violated posted 12/26/2013 01:00 AM

I bet she said she loves you too. Hugs

persevere posted 12/26/2013 19:04 PM

(((welcome14))) I imagine it meant so much to your friend to have you there with her that night even if she didn't seem present. Treasure her memory.

Here's to 2014.

welcome14 posted 12/26/2013 19:48 PM

ty! yep, to 2014...may we all b blessed.

Tred posted 12/26/2013 19:56 PM

I would give anything to know what she said that night.

Maybe it was something like leave before you lose all control. It's one of the possibilities since you don't really know . Looking forward to 2014 as well.

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