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Newest Member: HeartbrokenQueen

Reconciliation :
Christmas morning

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 karmahappens (original poster member #35846) posted at 1:27 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

So it's 8:30 a.m. in Boston.Most little ones have ripped through what Santa has brought.

How are we holding up SI peeps?

Did Santa do well for the kids? Any tantrums yet

I am 2 hours into my 16 hour shift....Going to start season 1 of Boston Legal. Should get me through the day.

Merry Christmas!!!

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 6611185
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Catwoman ( member #1330) posted at 1:45 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Boston area here, also.

Kids came home late last night from their dad's. We did gifts last night and this morning we are going to go see "Saving Mr. Banks" before we come home and make dinner: Turkey breast, mashed potatoes, asparagus and rolls. GDM will be up for dinner, hopefully with his new rescue dog--a beautiful young Chesapeake Bay Retriever.

Life is good here. Simple, but good.

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33182   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 6611192
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 karmahappens (original poster member #35846) posted at 1:46 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Love the movies on Christmas Cat!

Have a wonderful day!!

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 6611193
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blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 2:27 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Merry Christmas from Missouri!

Slept good.....waiting to open presents.....peaceful start.

So much improved over last year.

God be with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 8:29 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)]

ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.

posts: 5835   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Central Missouri
id 6611226
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 2:41 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Was up at 4, wondering where I'll be a year from now. What is really going through hubby's mind. Is he here because of the kids and 25 years together or does he really love me.

I told him yesterday I trusted him but that nothing would surprise me. He said I really don't trust him then. Such is the life of being a MH!

But really, I feel pretty good now, I went back to bed and gotta couple more hours....

Merry Christmas!!

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6611238
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cantaccept ( member #37451) posted at 2:46 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Merry Christmas!

It feels very ???

No words to describe it.

Hope it is peaceful for all.

Can

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 6611246
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stunnedin12 ( member #38141) posted at 2:56 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Merry Christmas, All.

Pretty odd here - we were with our sons for Christmas in a different state. ANYWAY - after the elephant in the room a couple of days ago, wh really stepped up to the plate. He was attentive, he was supportive, he was communicative - he tried. All-in-all a good couple of days.

He left on an earlier flight today and so now it is just the children and I. I'm 100% ok with being here with my children and him not. I'm not sure what that means but I'm not going to think too deeply on it today. Wh said this morning that while it was a different Christmas, he hoped it was a good one for me.

OH -- remember the Christmas gift thread .... I received the 2 gift certificates and the earrings ... he gets to keep his b*lls.

Thankfully, my children saw a Dad really honoring, caring for, and respecting their Mama this year as opposed to last year. For that, I'm thankful.

ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse

Lawyers involved.


posts: 689   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2013
id 6611253
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lordhasaplan? ( member #30079) posted at 3:01 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Hello SI family,

Yes. Normal.

Peace, family, love.

Never thought I would feel it again.

BS- Me (45)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R.Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2114   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6611255
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StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 3:47 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Doing pretty good despite the Ringling Barfers and Barfings & Barfies circus events of the night before. Minimal whining and arguing, everyone excited about something. g_r in the bath relaxing, kids hyperfocused on some kind of toy and the Wii-U is updating itself and talking to various devices in a way that makes me want to go buy a gun and prepare for the end. Nice morning all told.

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

posts: 7918   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 6611285
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Mack9512 ( member #38619) posted at 3:49 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Excellent Christmas so far. Laughing at the unexpected comments from DD8...her most recent, "Is that a rabbit in my hand?" (I honestly don't want to know! )

My FWH put his all into making this a great day and he succeeded. The only thing that I would change is our DD's 5:15 a.m. wake up call. I already need a nap.

Happy Holidays my friends.

Peace and love,

Mack

"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

posts: 440   ·   registered: Mar. 4th, 2013   ·   location: East Coast
id 6611286
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Hatemyhusband ( member #41633) posted at 4:46 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Guess I'm in the toughest shape out of us all

Kids up at 6. Happy as can be. Brother in law napping on couch. I'm upstairs crying. Wh checking on me. I told him "this time last yr u were texting her merry Xmas and prob arranging to meet her". He just said "it's over and I love u in sorry"

Doesn't mean it didn't happen.

I really hate this. I'm three weeks out and MC starts in week. Took him to my IC bc I was ready to jump shop and he wanted to come and see if she could slow me down.

He wants to R but how do I know it's for the right reasons? And shouldn't he get to be with a woman he enjoyed so much. The seedy motels, the perverted texts. That's not me

I'm just prayin to make it try today and get brother in law out of here. Kids are used to me locked in room. Others aren't

My heart an soul hurts. Raw

posts: 667   ·   registered: Dec. 12th, 2013
id 6611337
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jjsr ( member #34353) posted at 5:33 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

We are 2+ yrs out. The kids are grown and gone and 1400 miles away. FWH and I didn't exchange gifts, which we agreed upon as we are trying to pay down debt. We don't put up a tree or anything anymore as like I said the kids are gone. If we were closer to them, geographically, then we would. So for us now its just another day.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

posts: 1849   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2011   ·   location: midwest now.
id 6611372
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 6:03 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Wii-U is updating itself and talking to various devices in a way that makes me want to go buy a gun and prepare for the end.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6611401
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 karmahappens (original poster member #35846) posted at 6:38 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

(((Hatemyhusband)))

Three weeks, it isn't enough time for you to be standing on your own, let alone be in good enough shape to carry on Christmas with a smile.

Take it easy on you. One hour at a time. Slow and easy. Hang out with the kids. Maybe watch a new movie with them, something that encourages quiet

Relax as best you can and only do what you are up to.

No reason you cannot tell your in-law you have a migrane and are going to get some sleep...

(((hugs)))

You can do this !!

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 6611434
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 6:38 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Southern CA check-in. I'm sitting here on the computer checking in with y-all. FWH is making breakfast for us and we're listening to Pandora internet radio. Earlier I woke up, hid his gift on his computer, and came downstairs to a love note placed on my tray. I already had my "gift" from him, but he said that he couldn't stand me coming downstairs without something, and he figured I didn't need more dust catchers, and he was right! He opened his gift, which was a book he wanted, started leafing though it, and found all of the love coupons I hid in it.

It's shaping up to be a beautiful day. I would not have believed it, a few months ago. I am, quite simply, happy.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6611435
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5674emt ( member #40012) posted at 6:38 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

My FWH is a Paramedic and working today, so we celebrated at my Mom and Bonus Dad's yesterday. This morning FWH went into work, but he has been able to come by and start a fire in the fireplace(even in FL there was a seasonal chill in the air), while watching the 2 DDs open special Santa gifts.

DDay was a year ago and we are healing. FWH is making great effort to help me past the triggers, prove his devotion to Our Family and make a new and better M.

We are feeling the blessings of the Christmas season.

BS 53
WH 44
M 14 years at time of DD
2 young daughters
DD 12-8-12
OW=Xfriend
A-3 YEARS and her husband was an accomplice.
In R, IC, & MC Since 1 week after DD. On the mend with the help of God, Friends and Family.

posts: 93   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2013   ·   location: Central FL
id 6611437
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devasted30 ( member #39439) posted at 7:02 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Hello from Toronto, Canada. It is very cold here outside, but lots of love and warmth inside. My WS is very attentive and showing all kinds of love and support. He wasn't here last year and can't believe that I let him come home. He is so grateful and it shows. I too, can't believe that I'm not triggering all over the place - I guess it just shows how much we can grow and change if we really want it bad enough. Merry Christmas all - hang in there hatemyhusband - it's still so very new to you. You will get through this and you will thrive. I know it doesn't seem it, but you will. God be with each and every one of you.

Thanks for your support over the last few months. You are irreplaceable - all of you.

And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

posts: 1944   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6611458
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KatyDo ( member #41245) posted at 9:48 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Glad to have this group to come to when I need it. Thankful for that - it says something that I feel compelled to come here on Christmas Day. The different online support groups I belong to really fill a need for me and for that I am very grateful.

Better Christmas than past years - we are caregivers and working more as partners. WH continues to demonstrate different, positive behaviour, but not without setbacks. I try to be strong, and also try to live with the consequences of my choice to stay - that I'll never know if he could do that again, and that he is still working with his IC on the issues that made him be this way in the first place.

We are on a budget, so small gifts this year - but at least we are working together financially. Wishing everyone the best that is possible, and for peace.

Married 10 years, together for 15
Me: BS Him: chronic boundary issues, EA for 2 years, DD Spring 2013, Separated

posts: 305   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2013
id 6611596
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blakesteele ( member #38044) posted at 9:51 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Update......

Exhaustion enters again.....feelings pushing and pulling me. Urging me to retreat.........took a short nap. Reminding myself my wife is NOT as she was a year ago....

Still......fear and pain are a part of me.

Nice to have SI....nice to offer support and receive it too !

Sitting with my feelings.....much improved ability to do this now than a year ago.

God is with us all.

ME: 42 BH, I don't PM female members
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012, OM not respond
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred.

posts: 5835   ·   registered: Jan. 8th, 2013   ·   location: Central Missouri
id 6611598
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musiclovingmom ( member #38207) posted at 11:02 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

We've had a good day. Gifts with the kids this morning and the chaos that is little ones amid a sea of new toys. My SIL came over since her kids are at their dad's. We had fresh biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast and snacked around this afternoon. Watched a movie with the boys while my daughter went to her dad's to open gifts there. As soon as she gets back (any minute now), we're having a bacon-wrapped maple pork roast, pomme fondant (cut into Christmas trees) and ginger glazed carrots. Then most likely another movie as a whole family. This is the first Christmas we've done everything from presents to dinner at our home and I was worried it would be hard without the constant distraction of family, but it has actually been really wonderful.

posts: 1764   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2013
id 6611633
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