Not here to pile on. The Anger phase and the Plain of Lethal Flatness do not co-exist. Lethal Flatness is about everything, not just you or the relationship.
What he's saying now is the anger talking. As a defense mechanism (to avoid hurt) he's shutting all feelings of you out. As the anger subsides, that will change. That's what you should focus on - this is a defense mechanism.
And I'm going to say this so you know, not to be menacing - the real anger phase will hit in a few months. There is a short anger phase in the beginning. Then the other phases start moving through, and then a deep rage hits. Please be prepared for that.
Again, I say that as a precaution, nothing else. You just have to go through the motions.
I'm hopeful that you'll get through this. You seem remorseful and hopeful - that's a good thing. Please remember, this is a self preservation move. He's not doing it intentionally.
I cannot stress this enough. You Do Not Give Up. Through the flatness, through the despair, through the indifference, your BH is watching to see if you are going to flee again, leave him behind, check out. It may not seem like it, but he is very cognizant of what you are and you are not doing now. Keep on doing the work. It really does mean the difference between having hope and just washing your hands of everything. Just hang in there.
And I will agree with painfulpast. I know that I couldn't summon up true rage when I was indifferent. Once my indifference lifted, THEN the rage hit. So do be prepared.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Glimmers of healing.
I think because we tend to have a negative bias in our brains (not you and me specifically, just humans in general) we are more fearful of good feelings changing to bad ones than we are hopeful for bad feelings to change into good ones as we ride this crazy train from one of those creepy abandoned amusement parks run by an evil clown.
Hope fishing was a success! I just had to find out what a walleye is and it sounds like it can be turned into something delicious.
Keep on keeping on, sister.