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Almost too much to bear.

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ruby44 posted 12/25/2013 11:20 AM

I have always loved Christmas, the family times, the gift buying, playing Santa, baking Christmas cookies, family mass at our church, and just generally all things that go with it.
Today I am sad, my DDs are happy, Santa was good to them, I tried my best to give them a Christmas they will remember for the happy not the sad. They are upstairs talking to their Dad as he calls to wish them a merry Christmas from his vacation to Cancun with the OW.
The DDs got me presents, only one they picked out themselves and one they made. I will treasure them always. The other 2 were picked out by my STBXWH. I found it ironic. A coach purse. I am not a purse person. The irony is that for our first Christmas together after dating 2 months He got me a coach purse too. So I get a coach purse for my first and last Christmas connected to him. Will he even know what he did. No. Probably just a standard gift. Don't think I will ever use it. It sits on the table. Even when my DDs gave it to me they knew it was not a present for me. I told them how beautiful it was etc but it is killing me. He couldn't even take them shopping, just did it all himself.
Just very sad and lonely today. Need to find a way to get through so that my daughters do not remember the silly sad mom. Come on 2014!

Jrazz posted 12/25/2013 11:35 AM

We're here for you. Your DD's won't remember silly sad mom, they will remember brave mom who always put them first and loves them with all her heart.

2014 is going to be better!

(((ruby44)))

[This message edited by Jrazz at 11:35 AM, December 25th (Wednesday)]

karmahappens posted 12/25/2013 11:45 AM

Oh ruby

It is such a tough day.

I would just hang in my pj's and snuggle with the kids around me. Pull them close and know you are doing what's right. Your kids won't know you were hurting and will look back on the first Christmas you did it by yourself and be proud of you.

They will know you gave and sacrificed...and their dad, well he chose fun in the sun rather than Christmas with his kids.

You are strong, unselfish and loving.

Be good to you and know you make a difference. This day would have been much harder on the kids if you were not so strong.

It will get better.

(((ruby)))

Skan posted 12/25/2013 12:06 PM

Snuggle with your daughters and enjoy a house that's filled with love and caring, instead of lies and deceit. Enjoy being with them, being silly, and laughing, and decorating each other with bows, and making good treats to eat. Have a PJ wrapping-paper snow ball fight and then see who can find the smallest piece of paper on the carpet. Flop together and watch a movie while you're flaked out on the couch. Just be together and start some new traditions. Let tomorrow come when it comes. (((hugs)))

soveryweary posted 12/25/2013 15:34 PM

((Ruby))

nowiknow23 posted 12/25/2013 17:23 PM

((((ruby))))

MammaMia posted 12/25/2013 17:38 PM

Whatever Skan said. Enjoy the day and make it a great Christmas for your daughters. Look forward to all the good things that lie ahead....free...free at last... no more lies...no more deceit...no more worries...

Enjoy the new opportunities in 2014. Good luck to you.

Virginiagirl posted 12/25/2013 19:05 PM

Be proud of yourself for even putting one foot in front of the other on such a hard day. In my opinion, any of us that get through those first months without going full on crazy should take that as an accomplishment. Stand back and look at yourself- you are incredibly strong. Really, you are stronger than you know. Love yourself & your kids today. Hugs!!!

brkn_heartd posted 12/25/2013 21:37 PM

Ruby,
Sending hugs and support your way. You did great today. Your daughters will remember this Christmas for what you did. They will remember what their dad did. You held it together for them. Great job. It does get better!

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