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Newest Member: ChaosRider (45729)

User Topic: 3 years later; Christmas time
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thinking of you all here who are just trying to get through this day. Your first Christmas after your world has changed, the day you don't feel like "celebrating" at all. I want you to know that it will be okay, you will get through this day.

My Dday was three years ago, right before Thanksgiving. I remember barely making it through that first Thanksgiving. I found SI in early December and it was such a help. That first Christmas, I went through the motions, bought and wrapped gifts, made a Christmas Dinner for my family. It didn't feel very festive. The food was pretty tasteless, but I made it through. Pictures of that day show a very sad faced me with only a touch of smile that doesn't reach my eyes. My children were in their late teens and early 20's, so I didn't have to "pretend" for them...my XWH is their stepfather,not their father so in those ways their pain was so much less and I was grateful for that. But "going through the motions" described the best I was able to offer up that first Christmas.

And today, 3 years later; I'm doing so well. I went to and enjoyed Christmas Eve service at "our" church. I enjoyed buying and wrapping the gifts. I enjoyed watching my child open her presents, I talked on the phone to the child who is with his paternal grandparents today. I feel a certain amount of joy and a lot of happiness and gratitude. And even though I'm certainly not "over the top" and I do miss the "Hallmark/Martha Stewart" kind of Christmas, I'm looking forward to preparing the meal and setting the table and talking with my parents over the food we've prepared. Life isn't perfect, but it is good.

You will survive this first Christmas. Time will heal your heart. Next year will be better. Believe this in your mind even if your heart can't believe it.


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3236 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, you will!! I posted a similar thought down in D/S.

((hugs))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5906 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Edie
♀ 26133
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thanks


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 5147 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
lollipopmom
♀ 41714
Member # 41714
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for sharing and giving me some hope.

Posts: 8 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 4

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