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Just Found Out :
Could this suck anymore.

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 lostandhopless (original poster member #41568) posted at 8:42 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

So 1 month and 2 days from confronting my WW and I am sitting in this dumpy trailer feeling sorry for myself.

I should have spent yesterday at my inlaws with my WW, had dinner, went to, church, came back to have supper and open gifts. I should have woken up this morning with my beautiful wife in my arms, kissed and whispered how much I love her and merry xmas baby into her ear as I get up and made coffee, then had breakfast with her family and came home to spend the day with her and my family.

Instead I am sitting in a dumpy trailer, instead of my lovely house, watching my special needs niece (who I love and am happy to hang with) while my sister is dealing with her own problems. but I can't even think straight and barley function, When I get a Merry xmas text from the betraying former BFF, Then my mother calls and tells me to get my ass over to her house to help shovel the damn roof. As if my day isn't hard enough. Just what I need is to fall off the damn roof because I can't seem to pay attention long enough to watch what I'm doing..

This just really suck's!!!! I hate to ask what gonna crash down on me next. The last 3 days every time I even think that, I get more crap I don't want to deal with dumped on me.....

I REALLY HATE THE HOLIDAYS!!!!!

Be careful who you trust. Even your shadow will abandon you when it's dark.....

Divorced 6/13/14

posts: 144   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2013
id 6611543
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 9:24 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Hey there. How about just turning off the phone, enjoying hanging with your niece, and saying to hades with everyone else. Take some down time for yourself. I'm so sorry that all of this has been dumped on you. (((side hugs

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6611568
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karmahappens ( member #35846) posted at 9:37 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Hi Lost

I am sorry, it does suck. The first year is full of shitty WTF moments, I hear you. I remember the pain and I am sorry you are going through it.

Unfortunately the only thing you can do is go through it. Do you have anyone IRL that knows what is going on that you can lean on for support? A friend, your sister?

If you do, go to them and share your pain. They wouldn't want you hurting alone.

If you don't, kick up your feet and hang with us. Bitch, yell. stomp your feet, cry...whatever you need.

We are here and we are right there with you...

(((hugs))) It WILL get better, it seems so far away, but it will. One day at a time.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

posts: 4036   ·   registered: Jun. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 6611583
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caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 9:41 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

I hate to ask what gonna crash down on me next.

yeah..... Don't do this! I am convinced it is viewed as a request by the universe.

And NO is a perfectly good word. Sit at home and do what you will.

Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

posts: 7063   ·   registered: May. 27th, 2010   ·   location: a better place
id 6611589
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JerseyCowgirl ( member #41441) posted at 9:55 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

I too have lost everything including my job and my friends and it is over a year since my divorce. Being betrayed by both your spouse and BFF will bring anyone to their knees. First thing tomorrow find a counselor who deals with PTSD. It was the only thing that is helping me. Reach out to family or others whom you can trust. Setup a system of of being able to call these people when you are alone and it gets to you. Icall this the "Officer Down" phone call to help you in those moments just like officers do when they need help. One little phone call can make a world of difference.

Me: Divorced 2012
I know that when I truly love & honor myself I am at my best & most complete; and I will never settle for anything less from myself or from anyone else ever again!

posts: 496   ·   registered: Nov. 25th, 2013   ·   location: SWFL
id 6611601
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 lostandhopless (original poster member #41568) posted at 11:28 PM on Wednesday, December 25th, 2013

Thank you to everyone. Got the roof done, my BIL was here to and my family all knows whats going on. Both my sis and him have been through it in previous relationships. So they understand, but our parents, not so much...

Now they said I need to get out, so they are once again dragging me out. Unfortunately they are probably right. As much as I hate to admit it I haven't left the house since last Tuesday and I only remember getting dressed yesterday....This just SUCKS....

Be careful who you trust. Even your shadow will abandon you when it's dark.....

Divorced 6/13/14

posts: 144   ·   registered: Dec. 7th, 2013
id 6611647
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brkn_heartd ( member #30396) posted at 2:14 AM on Thursday, December 26th, 2013

I hope this evening is better for you. I think your family is right...you need to get out. Be around people.

Be gentle with yourself, it takes time.

Me-57 BS
Him 65-WS
Married 38 yrs, together 40
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

posts: 2137   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2010   ·   location: Northwesten US
id 6611762
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