Welcome and very sorry this happened to you. There's lots of us here, and it's the best club you never wanted to join.
I know you're just venting, and likely statistically you hear more about men doing it, but there's a lot of faithful men who became betrayed husbands here, and our stories are also pretty bad. Read some of our stories (men and women). It's a co-ed club here, and we all help each other.
First, go through the Healing library link on the left and read everything, including the 180 on the BS Faq (#11). Work on yourself, see a therapist for yourself and an attorney. I would see the therapist first, he's cheaper and can actually help.
Get this off your chest before the attorney so the attorney doesn't charge you an arm and a leg to listen to things he or she can't help you with. Always remember: Your attorney is not your therapist.
You need the attorney's advise on your options to proceed based on the facts on the ground, not to listen to how evil your husband was (though they will gladly listen and charge you for it, maybe even increasing the hourly rate due to the change in "scope of work" - not just a divorce, a possible lawsuit for X, Y, Z... that's the way they think). The therapist, and us here at this site will gladly listen to you and help you with the venting and the healing.
Be strong for your kids.