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Newest Member: Howtotrust (61551)

User Topic: She doesn't get it
♂ 41172
Member # 41172
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bulk of my story in my profile if you want to read.

Living in same house but different rooms and getting through Christmas for kids and family.

She Has been sending me some 'I love you' text, wanting hugs and that kind of stuff. I'm not feeling comfortable with this. If I don't reply to text I get several questions about 'did you see I sent a text' or if I don't say 'love you' back she makes like I have done something wrong and if I don't hug her she goes something lie 'oh we're back to that are we?'. She just doesn't get it, she's agreed to MC but I'm not sure she will work at it. My gut instinct hasn't let me down so far....

Any conversation about A results in deflection, she won't willingly let me see phone or computer details because it's too controlling. She hasn't even attempted an apology for what she did.

Denial, attempting torug sweep, no remorse and thinks a few 'I love you' can make a difference. Well, no, it can't. Maybe when I move out and we start MC it will wake her up....

Me: 42 Her: xWGf 39
Not married only engaged.
Two great kids, both under 6
DDay #1: 18 Nov 2013
DDay #2: July 2011

Posts: 88 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: UK
♀ 40665
Member # 40665
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The 180 or NC strikes me as very relevant.
I know it's hard at first but is worth it....

Sending you strength.

Lord, with Your help I will focus on each small step of the climb, instead of the mountain that stands before me.

Posts: 224 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: USA
♀ 21886
Member # 21886
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, December 25th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWW here. No, she doesn't get it. She's doing *nothing* except try to rugsweep. And you're right. It's going to take a *lot* more than a few hugs and "I love you"'s to even begin to repair the damage she did.

So yeah, 180 and NC except for kids. It may pull her head out of her ass, it may not.

Sorry you're in this position.

BH Cee64D - 50
FWW (me) - 51

All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.

Posts: 6164 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: A better place
Topic Posts: 3

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