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Good Christmas - alone tonight

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nevergiveup10 posted 12/25/2013 18:47 PM

My BS has really jumped in with both feet in the last 2 weeks or so with working it out. We had a great Christmas Eve dinner together then with the kids that evening. We stayed up late wrapping presents and I even got to sleep in my own bed with my wife.

Had a great morning too, but I could tell something was starting to bother her. She asked me to take one of the kids and go ahead of her to my parent's house where we celebrated Xmas with the extended family. Everything was ok there, but I could tell I wasn't going home tonight. We got the kids in her car and she was being very quiet. I asked her if she needed help with the kids tonight and she said no.(I am currently staying at my parents house)

I know it was hard for her to come today. i have been giving her lots of appreciation and love the last couple days. I am so thankful for what I have received from her lately. I am trying to use these things to stay positive and happy rather than be sad tonight.

There are more ups than downs lately, but the downs stink even more because I can see her pain so much better now that we are becoming so close.

At this moment I don't know the best way to support her. She probably wants to be left alone but I really feel I should somehow express my appreciation for her and all of this. I feel i cam trust my heart now that we are on this path. Maybe a call a little later or text.

Just thinking out loud I guess.

nevergiveup10 posted 12/25/2013 20:33 PM

Just talked to my BS. Turns out someone in my family said something about what's going on, meaning well but none the less.

My BS said she just had to get out of there, she felt embarrassed and upset. She said she's gonna have to learn to deal with that kind of stuff.

I'm so lucky she loves me enough to work on this. Great chat, we both left feeling loved.

20WrongsVs1 posted 12/25/2013 20:42 PM

Look back at your early posts and recognize how far you've come in such a short time!

Congrats on the overnight stay. I'm glad you called and it went well. Hopefully you can keep helping her build trust in you, and you can move back in soon.

nevergiveup10 posted 12/26/2013 08:35 AM

I remember every day how far we've come in this short time, I feel very very fortunate.

Just a couple days ago a very good friend of ours gave us their timeshare in FL for a week. We leave Saturday - driving from MD - with our kids. It will be nuts but we are both looking forward to this time as a family and together. Building new memories as my BS so eloquently says.

To say I am fortunate is an understatement.

Prayingforhope posted 12/27/2013 12:06 PM

Being only two months since Dday, having just spent my first Christmas alone, separated from my BS, no longer living in the house of my children and having no hope at all, this post helped me a lot.

I pray every day for the moment when I can just talk - JUST TALK - to my BS and your story helped get me through the day thinking maybe there is hope.

Thanks for sharing.

nevergiveup10 posted 12/28/2013 08:32 AM

I'm so happy you were able to gain hope from my post. At 2 months for me it was horrible, a real test of who I am, my hope and my faith in us. Keep hope alive brother, do your work and face the pain. It gets easier over time.

When you do get your chance with her, the feeling of joy and pride in yourself for sticking it out is indescribable.

Good luck, it's worth it. I promise you that.

Prayingforhope posted 12/28/2013 10:49 AM

Thanks again, I don't now if I will ever be lucky enough to get another chance, but just the thought of possibly, maybe, some day getting that shot - like you- overwhelms me with hope.

I'm gonna get through this! Thank you.

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