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Newest Member: Remember (46025)

User Topic: For fun - what on earth is he up to?
newlysingle
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just realized that I posted this in New Beginnings instead of Divorce/Separation. Oops, I hope that's okay.

So the Gnat and I have been "cordial" as of late. Yes, for the kids sake, but mostly because we got entangled in a child support issue with the state that has been a mess (very long story and not the Gnat's fault), so we've had to work together almost daily trying to get this straightened out.

Anyway, I know I mentioned in another post awhile back about how he tried to shit out on his kids for Christmas. He planned a trip over Christmas with Hello Kitty to visit her redneck family and eat roadkill without even discussing it with me. He was supposed to have the kids on Christmas day. So, I called him out on how shitty of a father he is and he magically changed his flight to get in early this morning. He did take them for the day.

So, we exchanged the kids and about 2 hours later, I get a text from him that says "DD can't stop talking about how great her Xmas at your place was and how full her stocking from Santa was. You did an incredible job this year". Okay, so I debated for awhile about whether to respond or just give crickets. After awhile I did respond with "Tell DD that Santa was knew how good she's done in school and helpful she's been to mommy and her little brother. He knew she was extra good and deserved it".
That was my passive aggressive way of saying "Listen Fucktard, yes, I pulled Xmas out of my ass once again with no help from you. Dd has had to mature beyond her 6 years quickly as she's had to take on extra responsibilities around the house and with her brother. Ya know, since her dad walked out on her to screw his whore and all".

Then a couple of hours after that, I get another text "Merry Christmas Newlysingle." Yeah, that got crickets. I might be cordial, but I'm not your BFF.

Okay, so all my wise SI friends, what is this? I'm thinking he's preparing to manipulate me in some way or that he's buttering me up to tell me that Hello Kitty got a big ring for Xmas. Or possibly my being "cordial" has made him think that I like receiving his warm fuzzy texts. Help me decipher this shit, please!

[This message edited by newlysingle at 1:20 AM, December 26th (Thursday)]


BW - Me (38)
XWH -The Gnat
OW - Hello Kitty the Whore Engaged to the Gnat. I hear the white trash, wedding bells as we speak.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (7), 1 DS (2)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 983 | Registered: Mar 2013
Chrysalis123
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 7:38 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, so all my wise SI friends, what is this? I'm thinking he's preparing to manipulate me in some way

Trust your gut....and the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2819 | Registered: Jan 2010
7yrsflushed
♂ 32258
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What Chyrsalis said. The extra contact whether via text, in person, or over the phone during the holidays makes some of them think Santa sprinkled some forget the past dust on us and we all of a sudden want to be the best of friends with them again. There was a reason we are exs and I am not about to open the door the crazy town again.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1941 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
StillLivin
♀ 40229
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is getting ego kibbles. "See, newlysingle and I are on good terms. Look how well we co parent!" I'm not really the big douchebag that I know I am!
FTG girl. Just FTG, and do your best to not care why he does what he does.
In the end, it doesn't matter why. We all know he is just a gnat.
Worry instead about this weekend and how much fun there is to be had!!!!!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2556 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
newlysingle
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trust me, I don't think for a second that he has good intentions behind any of this. I'm hoping we can resume out minimal contact soon. I still have to call the child support office again today as he's still receiving harassing letters from then even though we closed our case. They are saying he's way behind on child support when he isn't. It's been a real PITA and could have cost him his job, which would suck for both of us. Once that's resolved we're back to true NC.


BW - Me (38)
XWH -The Gnat
OW - Hello Kitty the Whore Engaged to the Gnat. I hear the white trash, wedding bells as we speak.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (7), 1 DS (2)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 983 | Registered: Mar 2013
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's like Pandora's box, once you open communications you just don't know what can happen.

Now you know... He's going to run with it to make himself feel better. NC. save yourself the emotional energy!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

some of them think Santa sprinkled some forget the past dust on us and we all of a sudden want to be the best of friends with them again.

I think that is what is happening in my life lately. WTF, do they think our memories are like their's? Full of holes?

I can forgive, but I can't forget...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3266 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I believe the answer is in your post--you've been helping him straighten out the CS issue. Once that's resolved, I'm sure the Gnat you know will return. Guard yourself.


Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the tylenol?

Posts: 20550 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
heartbroken_kk
♀ 22722
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

. I still have to call the child support office again today as he's still receiving harassing letters from then even though we closed our case.

Why is this your responsibility? Does he not have letters or forms that state that? Is he unable to get them himself? Does the child support office not take his calls and respond to his requests? Is he unable to make photocopies and submit information to them?

You are not his secretary. He wants you to be. He wants YOU to fix his problems. If you fix them, then they are all your fault in the first place, right?


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1254 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
newlysingle
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They will not deal with him at all. It's unbelievable. Because the case is in my name, they will not allow him to discuss it at all. It was a mistake that I made that got this horrible ball rolling too, so it's my problem to fix.


BW - Me (38)
XWH -The Gnat
OW - Hello Kitty the Whore Engaged to the Gnat. I hear the white trash, wedding bells as we speak.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (7), 1 DS (2)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 983 | Registered: Mar 2013
heartbroken_kk
♀ 22722
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, December 26th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They will not deal with him at all. It's unbelievable. Because the case is in my name, they will not allow him to discuss it at all. It was a mistake that I made that got this horrible ball rolling too, so it's my problem to fix.

OK, fair enough. Sorry to harsh on you.


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1254 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
peridot
♀ 18334
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 12:24 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's wanting you to fix this for him, help him keep his job and stay out of jail. When you've done everything he needs, he'll turn back into a jerk. That's how they work.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
sinsof thefather
♀ 29295
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 3:39 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think he just wants to be 'let off' the infidelity being seen as a big deal. He wants it to seem to be no harm, no foul, no one got hurt, and move straight into being 'bestest friends forever' with you when he has to have contact about the kids. He wants to make his conscience and his own life easier to show everyone what a nice guy he must be and that it didn't really hurt you anyway. He wants it to seem as though he actually did you all a favour - I mean look how happy you all are now. Yeah. Next, he'll want you being friends with OW to show everyone just how nice she is too.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1903 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
risingfromashes
♀ 3903
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The NPDSAsociopathalcoholicXH who I "victimized" by heartlessly filing for a divorce, used to do this kind of shit for about a year.

He called me all sweet and light to tell me that he knew "we were going to be best of friends once we worked out the details of the divorce". Ummm, let me envision what that will look like...Nope, no, I just am not seeing that!

Then the gift card because "you are the Mother of my children and deserve it". OK. Thanks. Buh-bye.

Everyone should see how nice he is to me! How could I kick such a good guy out??

I think maybe they are filled with the Christmas Spirit?


There is a wonderful life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1728 | Registered: Mar 2004
Topic Posts: 14

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