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mil needs help...suggestions?

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Trying2Survive1 posted 12/26/2013 07:16 AM

My 86 yo NPD MIL is miserable. I witnessed it today when she was over for the holiday. My H and his sister are just fed up with her because she is, frankly, verbally abusive to them. However, she has always been kind and compassionate to me. She is clearly unhappy. In the new year I feel that I should reach out to her and offer her the gift of my time, but I'm afraid she'll use that against H and SIL (I love her more...ugh...don't want her saying, "I'm closer to her than my daughter,)" etc. Any suggestions are helpful.

Chrysalis123 posted 12/26/2013 07:31 AM

What does your husband think about this?

Trying2Survive1 posted 12/26/2013 12:37 PM

I haven't discussed it with him and my SIl yet, as I am trying to think of what I could do for her.

nowiknow23 posted 12/26/2013 12:39 PM

Tred softly here, trying. Your desire to help her is admirable. If she is truly NPD, however, you may be stepping squarely into a minefield as you seem to have identified already.

What kind of help do you think she needs? Is it help you can arrange through a 3rd party rather than directly?

Trying2Survive1 posted 12/26/2013 12:45 PM

Tred softly here,

That's for sure. She really needs therapy or medication I'm sure, but she would never agree to that. Husband and I did discuss her behavior during MC a few weeks ago and he suggested that too.

I think the best course is to talk with H and SIL together and find out if they want me to do anything at all. I can see how this could backfire big time.

Thank you for the advice.

nowiknow23 posted 12/26/2013 13:08 PM

That approach makes a lot of sense to me, honey.

Trying2Survive1 posted 12/27/2013 01:49 AM

I love the clarity here...Thank you!

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