This one took me a while, but I'm glad I have finally learned it. Repeat after me. I DON'T HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF TO EX-POS.
He's looking for attention. And he's looking for your EMOTIONS. DO NOT give him your emotions, how you're feeling, how what he is saying and doing is making you feel.. You give him those, and he gets to feel like he still has control over you, over how you feel, and he gets to feel powerful if you respond with any emotion at all, like he still has the power to affect you and your mood.
You know what else you might do while defending yourself? You might ADMIT to something you did wrong, then try to justify why you did it or apologize for it, but then you still admitted you did something wrong. Best not to say anything at all, or keep it short and sweet, like, "I'm following doctor's orders," or "she got her medicine," etc..
I have worked very hard at perfecting my eye roll when he threatens me or bashes my parenting. If he has true concerns, then he can call CPS. I'm not listening to his bullcrap or taking the bait and emailing him all day to set him straight. You can only say something so many times before you just can't repeat yourself anymore. Man, did I repeat myself a lot. What a waste of my time and energy. I swear we had the same argument multiple times over email. No wonder people always recommend NC..
And I agree that was pretty crappy of your parents. Hopefully they didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Maybe they think you are feeling stronger than you really are, so they didn't realize how much you needed some love and family time this Christmas. And to add to the fun for DD by having more people around..
But seriously girl, don't let that ass scare you anymore. From personal experience, you can be REALLY fucking shitty and still not lose any custody. I called CPS on my STBX for multiple things (including medical things like not giving fever medicine, not putting doctor-recommended scar cream on the cut DS6 got right next to his eye, and absolute proof that STBX didn't give DS6 the every 4 hour albuterol treatments he was supposed to be having for more than three freaking days), but none of my concerns ended up mattering. I don't hear anything remotely close to you losing custody. I just hear a manipulative, abusive asshole trying to have power over you.
An abbreviation just isn't enough. FUCK THAT GUY!!!!
[This message edited by ButterflyGirl at 10:07 PM, December 26th (Thursday)]