Thank you for this info.
My WH is the most conflict avoidant, passive aggressive, withdrawn person I know. I have not known whether he just didn't care about me any more - but I think some of it is possibly depression.
He had Satan for a father, and his FOO was very complicated. The pressures of infertility, adoption, kids with special issues, his own rather severe disability, and an unprecidented number of family deaths in recent years, etc., have taken its toll on him. Then his infidelity and my response to it has been what has finally sent him into almost total withdrawal.
He is here physically, but somewhere else mentally.
When I read about other WH on this site, I begin to place their behaviors on MY WH - "He must be cheating again", etc. But I really believe he is ill equipped to deal with all out shit right now.
I am truly hoping this helps him - whether it helps our marriage or not. He is not a big fan of counseling, but has agreed not only to the EMDR, but also to marriage counseling.
We will see."Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy