SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

GingerAle posted 12/26/2013 10:18 AM

Hi Everyone... I have been on SI for a while now, I don't post a lot but am beyond thankful for this amazing place and all of the people here. I honestly don't know what I would do without it.

When I first joined, I believed my WH and I would R, but gave up that notion 2 months ago. Something in me finally snapped and realized this marriage is finished, and if I don't do something to change my life, it will ruin my emotional health. He had an EA in 2010, another one in 2012, and at least one other friendship with a female co-worker that crossed the boundaries. He loves attention from women, and sees himself as quite the KISA. He is also a compulsive liar, and the most self-destructive person I have ever met. It sickens me to think of all the years I've wasted, letting him pull the wool over my eyes. Can't tell you how many times I have heard people tell me "your husband is such a nice man". He is just that good at fooling people.

I have been a SAHM for 24 years, and still have two children at home. But I can do this. It is a bit like 'eating an elephant one bite at a time', but I am not stuck in this marriage and my kids and I will be great! We are still living in the same house with him, (he won't leave), but I have attorney appts, and really am excited about my new life.

Thanks to everyone of you who share your stories, words of wisdom, and support. I hope that I can be helpful to others here as well

devistatedmom posted 12/26/2013 10:50 AM

Hey GingerAle. I'm sorry you have go this route, but you sound like you have your head on straight. After 24 years of being SAH, I'm sure you should be getting some kind of Alimony. See those lawyers, figure out your options, and see what the new year has in store for you!!

Lola7 posted 12/26/2013 11:03 AM

Mine was great at fooling people too. He's Mr. Nice Guy; will offer to shovel your driveway, loan you money, just a fine upstanding family man.

Except for the part where he tries to fuck your wife. That's kind of a bummer.

I'm sorry you're here, but you will get tons of support. ((GingerAle)) Keep posting and reaching out.

[This message edited by Lola7 at 11:03 AM, December 26th (Thursday)]

dmari posted 12/26/2013 12:59 PM

Hi and welcome! So glad you've decided to post here. Sounds like you are in a good place emotionally. Take care!

shiloe posted 12/26/2013 13:01 PM

Except for the part where he tries to fuck your wife. That's kind of a bummer.

GingerAle posted 12/26/2013 16:15 PM

Thanks for the welcome! I do feel good emotionally, last week I was pretty down though. But then he goes and does something that reminds me of why I have to get out of this. He's very good about that

sparkysable posted 12/26/2013 16:18 PM

It's an emotional roller coaster, so be ready. Some days, you feel great, other days, not so much.

hopeandchange posted 12/26/2013 16:56 PM

Good luck. Sharing a home with my WW while searching for a new home and negotiating the D has been really hard. And your situation sounds worse. Good luck!

H&C

badmedicine posted 12/26/2013 22:44 PM

Hello and welcome GingerAle.

Glad you are here and posting. It can be a huge help and it also feels good to respond to others.

I'm on the bandwagon with the "Your husband is sooo nice. He is always smiling" (well, that's because he is screwing someone else...bastard). I have felt like the bad person already and I didn't even know how much of the bad person he was. Good luck in the coming days with legal matters; with kids and unequal earning it is probably going to be a struggle. I hope you can surround yourself with people IRL and here that can help.