"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

LostSamurai posted 12/26/2013 13:25 PM

All of a sudden, my wife texts me and say's I'm sorry for hurting you and for disrespecting you?

Now what should I say? Does this mean fog is over?

Brandon808 posted 12/26/2013 13:34 PM

*crickets*

One text does not mean the fog has lifted. Maybe a dozen texts followed by some real actions could mean the fog has lifted. This one text seems like manipulation, mind games, and/or cake-eating.

numb&dumb posted 12/26/2013 13:36 PM

It may. However you will have to watch and see if this was just a flood of guilt or a real step towards the realization of it.

She may just be to engage you to get some validation or to lull you into being less vigilant. Everything now has subtext. It is maddening.

Just text her back with, "Thank you for acknowledging that." I'll put my last dollar that she will text you back. If she does ask her to elaborate and ask her why now.

StillLivin posted 12/26/2013 13:39 PM

Honey, the fog is only over after her "showing" not "talking".
crickets.
wait. just.wait.and.watch.

confused615 posted 12/26/2013 13:46 PM

It could mean she is starting to "get it."

Or maybe she is trying to manipulate you.

Words are just that..words. What do her actions tell you?

Is this the first time she has apologized? Is this the first time she has admitted how disrespectful she was towards you?

somanyyears posted 12/26/2013 13:51 PM

..it is your call as to whether you want some communication with her or not.

..I personally would not want to discuss the matter via texting.. you can't see her facial expressions or guage her sincerity with a few text words passed between you.

..she needs to elaborate a helluva lot more but at least its a start. Only you know if her text is 'worth' anything of real value in the big scheme of things.

..is the fog over??? that's a tough one... hence... more discussion is needed with her.

take your time.. these things can't be given the 'quick fix'.. by anyone..period!!!!

good luck LS..

smy

LostSamurai posted 12/26/2013 19:28 PM

She was acting weird today. She was buying me dinner and stuff and was just given me a whole bunch of compliments...

Could just be some type of trick or whatever but this is the first time she has said anything on those lines. She just started doing these marriage devotionals and communicating with me so, who knows.

LostSamurai posted 12/27/2013 07:23 AM

You are all probably right. I probably just got my hopes up all for nothing.

GotMyLifeBck2013 posted 12/27/2013 08:02 AM

Keep doing the 180. The text is the first salvo. It gets much weirder.

steadfast1973 posted 12/27/2013 08:12 AM

Is she still seeing OM? Do you still live together? Are you trying to R?

LostSamurai posted 12/27/2013 09:02 AM

GotMyLifeBck2013
I will continue... I will prepare myself.

steadfast1973
She is not seeing the OM. We are not living together now and I would like to Reconcile...but I am slowly going the opposite direction. She and my DD have been staying at her parents house for 2 months now...

BAMAC posted 12/27/2013 10:10 AM

LS,

How do you know she's not still seeing OM? Does she still work with him?

LostSamurai posted 12/27/2013 10:43 AM

She doesn't work with Him, he's my relative and I confronted him secretly.

Now she keeps saying I am sweet man. She is being awfully nice to me. What should I think about all this?

LostSamurai posted 12/27/2013 11:43 AM

What in the world. Now she is telling me I am special person. Do WS go through this moment where they think they can smooth things over or something?

DixieD posted 12/27/2013 12:02 PM

Do WS go through this moment where they think they can smooth things over or something?

IMO, YES! Compliments and validation were so easy to give and receive in their affairs. It made unicorn la-la land soooo easy. It should be that easy to work on you too, right?

Wrong.

She doesn't realize yet how hard this is going to be.

Take care LS.

Brandon808 posted 12/27/2013 12:07 PM

What should I think about all this?

Nothing. Don't think anything at this point. At this she is just paying some compliments. Compliments to you are not owning her choices. It is not an expression of remorse. It is not an action aimed at R or rebuilding trust.

It's just words.