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heforgotme posted 12/26/2013 16:13 PM

I had an appointment with my oncologist. And as I sat there alone, as i always did, I thought about things. About how he didn't care when I had cancer. About how nooone sat in the waiting room alone but me. Everyone had someone to care about them. Except for me. I went through it alone.

I have another appt. tommorrow and he wants to go. And I think, what's the point? I'm better now. But when i was scared, really terrifies, and hurting.......my "husband" was nowhere to be found.

He was too concerned with getting drunk and having "FUN"

Just a pity party I guess. He's different now. But that's who I was dealing with at the time. And omg how it hurts......

Skan posted 12/26/2013 16:42 PM

(((hugs)))

lostcovenants posted 12/26/2013 16:43 PM

(((Heforgotme)))

RipsInMyChest posted 12/26/2013 17:06 PM

((((Heforgetme)))) I am so sorry for all of your pain and loneliness.

I too feel alone. I haven't faced cancer, so I can't imagine...but both of my parents are dead at a young age and I am an only child. I frequently cry and feel alone in this world. But I also know I am strong and can rely on myself to get through things no matter what.

You are brave and strong.

[This message edited by RipsInMyChest at 5:07 PM, December 26th (Thursday)]

jo2love posted 12/26/2013 17:40 PM

(((heforgotme)))

Kap12 posted 12/26/2013 19:36 PM

I can relate to how you feel but I know now I didn't communicate well enough that I needed him there with me. Sometimes you have to literally spell it out for them.

Dreamland posted 12/26/2013 22:03 PM

Oh my dear. How I feel for you.
Sending many many huggs HUGGSSS

Afraid2LoveAgain posted 12/26/2013 22:37 PM

(((Heforgotme)))

I am also a survivor. My Un-ex and I were already divorced when I was diagnosed. He wasn't there for me--wasn't even told until my daughter let it slip.

But that is all in our past. We are together now, forever. We are even planning to remarry on what would have been our 35th anniversary. He goes with me for the semi-annual exams and wouldn't have it any other way.

Don't linger on the bad past. Look to your happy future. I have the same thoughts as you are experiencing. But I push them away. They are not yours or mine's reality.

We beat cancer! We can sure as hell beat infidelity triggers.

More hugs!

LA44 posted 12/26/2013 23:00 PM

I am very sorry you had to go through those times alone ((hfm)). But like the title of your post - today - try to stay in today, or rather, in the moment and focus on who your spouse is today. I suppose if you would rather go solo, then do so. But if you really do want him there then let go and have him by your side. It would also be good for him to sit there and imagine what it would have been like for you to be there alone. Yet another eye-opener for him

I am glad you are well.

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