Ok, I've established minimum contact with WS - for my safety, for my daughter's safety. One of the big things I am seeing is that over the years my ability to set and maintain a boundary has almost completely gone away. Perhaps I was never very good at it in the first place.
My WS is definitely testing the minimal contact boundary and I'm feeling like I'm not being as strong with it as I need to be. He's always been what I call a master of justification - he always has a reason to give in to anything he wants, from sales on things at the store (It's such a good deal, how can we pass it up) to this current boundary. And I have become the master of giving in over the years, even when I know better. He called last night and asked if he could bring over a plate of surf and turf for Christmas Dinner. He's an amazing cook and it's definitely one of my weaknesses for him. I said yes but ended up not being able to stomach a bite of it because when I asked what his Dad had said about it he told me that he lied to his Dad and said the plate of food was for a male friend. His Dad HATES me and has been very vocal about encouraging my WS to have no contact with me and to protect himself by trying to get me as much jail time as possible (conveniently FIL was also the first to talk to the cops even though he was the reason my mom called 911 in the first place). As soon as I heard that he had lied I realized that I had let my own boundary fail and asked him to leave. It makes me sick that he can lie so easily to anyone - me, his father, etc.
I feel so guilty about my boundary because WS seems so desperate to fix things even though I have NO evidence to suggest that his "change of heart" is sincere and lasting. Any advice for standing my ground and learning to say "no" to anything beyond necessary contact? I'm feeling really weak willed right now
Thanks in advance. It's definitely something I'll bring up in IC, but their office is closed for the next week.