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Best zingers you've got in on wayward spouse or other cheater?

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Justgreatnews posted 12/26/2013 18:26 PM

If you find this too tactless, I will try to delete it. However, as despicable humans we all enjoy inflicting a little pain for vengeance. Could it be therapeutic?

I'm curious what little victories others have felt while learning they've been betrayed.

There are two things that stick out in my head.

1. I called OM and challenged him to come out and face me. He threatened to get a Protective Order against me. I asked him if it came with a skirt. (even my WW laughed when she overheard.)

2. This is mean, but in the heat of battle....

My WW admitted that she once met OM at a motel. (I get queasy just typing this) I said "I assume he paid for the room?"
WW: "Yes."

Me: "Did he leave you something on the nightstand?"

Mean, cruel, counterproductive? Yes. Worse than her behavior?

cl131716 posted 12/26/2013 18:34 PM

OW was a horrible speller. She used to always spell bored, board. It drove me crazy! So when I wrote her an e-mail I very nicely corrected her.

ruinedandbroken posted 12/26/2013 18:40 PM

OW was a teacher where my kids went to school. I loudly asked her in the school front office whose husband she was sleeping with this year.

LivingALie posted 12/26/2013 18:43 PM

Love these types of threads.

Ow secretary answered my H's work phone one day...it went like this:

Ow: Mr. _____ office. Rebecca speaking.
Me: oh! I'm sorry..did you have to get up off your knees to answer the phone?
ow: (shocked) that wasn't nice
me: i wasn't trying to be.

And yes...he left that job

SisterMilkshake posted 12/26/2013 19:02 PM

FWH was a manager for a big box DIY store. It was an employee.

FWH retired from that company. One day we were shopping there. He started telling me that I should get a job there, I would be great at the job. I sweetly asked him "Oh, do I get to fuck my manager, too?"

looking forward posted 12/26/2013 19:57 PM

And do you all still enjoy the satisfaction of your comments?

Mean, cruel, counterproductive

Yes!
If your relationship is over, then knock your socks off with this verbalization of your hurt, anger, disgust, etc.
But, if you are attempting R then the comments are just plain mean, cruel, and counterproductive!

BTDT....way too many times in the last 4 years, 8 months, and 13 days!

littlefoggy posted 12/26/2013 20:05 PM

I have on multiple occasions pointed out OW can't vote yet.

(Legal age of consent, not quite legal age to vote but "she is *almost* 18" )

Catwoman posted 12/26/2013 20:09 PM

On the divorce being final: Damn expensive piece of ass, wasn't it.

On him whining to me that the OW's felon brother had stolen his identity and raided his frequent flyer and hotel rewards accounts: As you may recall, I wasn't wild about your relationship with her.

He got neither, seriously,

Cat

rachelc posted 12/26/2013 20:11 PM

I've got nothing to add but enjoy reading these. I've "thought" of things but being we're in recovery and I talk too much anyway, I keep them to myself.., but do snicker from time to time.

[This message edited by rachelc at 8:12 PM, December 26th (Thursday)]

Crushed1 posted 12/26/2013 21:10 PM

Me: oh! I'm sorry..did you have to get up off your knees to answer the phone?
LOL @LivingALie!

Harriet posted 12/27/2013 00:16 AM

My ex was meeting a woman for lunch, and I asked, "Who is she? Is she one of your women?" He wasn't thinking because he responded all smart assed with, "She's married!" I said, "That didn't bother you before." I knew I hit home because he turned bright red. Broke through the denial of just what kind of a man he really was for a moment.

Another time: he wrote out the speech he wanted to give to our kids to tell them about our divorce. He wanted to tell them I wasn't social enough or active enough, and I needed someone devoted to me. I wrote him back saying, first of all, I could be a marathon running debutant and you would still want the divorce so put that lie behind you, and secondly: if you get to list 2 of my perceived faults to the kids, I get to list 2 of yours, and I choose that you weren't loyal or honest enough. And then finally, if I needed someone devoted to me I wouldn't have tried reconciliation for so long. I rewrote the speech and he went with my version (no listing of faults, and no stupid promises that things wouldn't change that much...he actually wanted to tell them that we would still celebrate all of our holidays and stuff together...right ).

Vulcanized posted 12/27/2013 00:17 AM

Then WH to me: OW doesn't want to be a home-wrecker.

Me: Tell OW a good way to accomplish that is by NOT fucking married dudes.

Dreamland posted 12/27/2013 00:27 AM

Ha love these... I don't think these are mean even if your in R.
So when I found out fWH fucked the OW without protection I asked if he was worried about STDs. He said well she's not that kind of girl...she looked clean.. I said was that before or after she told she was tired of being the other woman and getting STDs. What a fucking idiot. p

deeplysaddened posted 12/27/2013 01:26 AM

Did a background check on the OM and found out he was recently convicted of a felony (pleaded guilty, served jail time (after work), and currently on probation. Turns out this loser "forgot" to notify his employer of his recent conviction.

Somehow, just somehow, this little tidbit of info got relayed to the president (and head of human resources) of the place where this ass works. He is currently suspended (and will mostly likely not be returning according to the president of the company).

Good luck finding another job in this economy, you ass-wipe. Your felony conviction is out there for all future employers to see. Payback is a bitch, isn't it?

Now to my WW (yes, the one who denies giving me pubic crabs)....

mchercheur posted 12/27/2013 06:34 AM

WH: "But OW is so NICE"

me: "Nice girls don't f*ck married men & try to destroy families."

(This was right after Dday. WH doesn't see her as being nice anymore. Good example of how blind the WS is when deep in the FOG.)

[This message edited by mchercheur at 6:35 AM, December 27th (Friday)]

suckstobeme posted 12/27/2013 06:45 AM

When we were negotiating visitation issues for D, I threw a hard core first proposal at him that said he couldn't bring anyone around my kids, he could never have anyone sleep over when they are with him, and he could never live with anyone outside of marriage. We knew he would shit and never agree, but that was the jumping off platform.

In the negotiation room, he told me and my lawyer that he wouldn't agree to that clause. He was stupid enough to look me in the face to say that he should be allowed to have other people around the kids because, "there can be serious relationships outside of marriage."

I said, "I know. You're involved in one. The problem is you're already married."

Asshole.

TrustGone posted 12/27/2013 07:03 AM

On DDay#2 WH#2 was in full denial mode. He had no idea what I knew or how I knew he was still involved with OW. He just kept saying he had no idea what I was talking about, he was not seeing her and had not seen her in almost a year. I refuse to tell him that she had left a note in my jewlery box outing their A again. Finally I got so mad at his lying to my face that I went into my office and drew him a cartoon on a large poster board of the two of them naked, having a discussion about how stupid I was and that I would never find out about what they were doing. I then showed it to him and told him at the next family holiday I would bring out the picture cartoon and show his whole large family what a cheating lying asshole he was during our prayer and what we are all thankful for. That's when he decided to spill his guts about their continued involvement. A picture is worth a thousand words sometimes.

IrishLass518 posted 12/27/2013 07:28 AM

Oh so many come to mind.


xWH said that OW was just being a friend. I replied, "My friends keep their pants on."

xWH attempting to convince me once again that the affair was over. I replied, "It looks like a duck, it walks like a duck, it quacks like a duck, everyone can see it is a duck and the only one you are trying to hide it from is me. You're telling me it's a cat, I know it's a big fucking duck"

scangel3 posted 12/27/2013 07:35 AM

One night I can't even remember which dday but I know it was summer and the 1st of the month; ow picked up my wh for inventory (they have inventor every month) at OUR HOUSE, when she pulled up he was very worried about what I would do and tried to stop me from going outside, it was 2 am my kids were asleep and my parents lived next door (and I was in my pj's), I just went out their introduced myself said hi, and as he got in the car I told her to stop fucking MY HUSBAND! He later told me how I embarrassed him!

If that happened today I would have done more then embarrassed him!!! And I couldn't have embarrassed him that much the A went on for at least another month or two.

[This message edited by scangel3 at 7:36 AM, December 27th (Friday)]

WearingTheHorns posted 12/27/2013 08:10 AM

Oh, these are fun. Tactless perhaps, but tact kind of goes out the window in these situations.
Best one I remember off hand:
"Next time you let another guy c*m in your mouth don't ask me for a kiss when you get home. I think that's happened far too many times already."

As far as the unspoken ones, there's far too many to remember, but my favorite one that I do recall:

WW: "I guess I can start going to Dr. X for my checkups."
My unspoken reply that I almost had to bite through my tongue to keep from saying: "Well at least I know the only thing of his that will end up in your mouth are his fingers." (AP #2 is a DDS)

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