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Divorce/Separation :
Need to Vent

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 SurelyNOT (original poster member #40617) posted at 5:19 AM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

So my husband is now back in town, and is living with ow. We hear NOTHING from him whatsoever, until three days before Christmas when he texts both girls to say "Love U Miss U" and then asks "when can we get together for a movie or dinner" - Are you for real Mister? Note he asks when and not if!!!!!!

In the meantime ow is posting photos of him with her children at the zoo, amusement parks, etc. these photos were taken earlier this year, when we had absolutely NO clue that they were even a feature in our lives - ugh. Then she writes nasty comments about me and about how I am not a good mother, because I do not encourage my children to have a relationship with their father Our children are 17 and 13, and have minds of their own, they DO NOT want to be in contact with him, his level of betrayal has sickened them and they are so hurt by him and his actions.

On Christmas Eve we were at a gathering with friends when my phone had a flurry of drunken texts from her, saying stupid things like "are you really going to keep them apart tomorrow?", "he loves those girls beyond anything, truly".

So here's my point, how is it that everything is my fault, how do people who have affairs manage to shift the blame entirely from themselves and justify their actions? When did I become the bad guy here?

posts: 95   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2013
id 6613101
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 5:27 AM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

There is NO REASON that the OW needs to EVER be texting you about anything unless the idiot is in cardiac arrest. I would shut that shit down asap with your XWH. Seriously, WTF?

With regard to his texts, he's an idiot. I would imagine both your kids have phones and can ignore them all on their own.

All I can say is ACTIONS, meet CONSEQUENCES. And....FTG....

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6613116
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ItHappened2Me2 ( member #32503) posted at 5:39 AM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

FTG and the whore he rode in on!!!!

BLOCK her number!

OMG - did she really say "he loves those girls beyond anything, truly"???? Evidently not, bitch. He abandoned them.

I am so angry for you right now.

IGNORE their attempts to take their lousy attempts at laying blame. You are NOT the bad guy.

One of the things I used to talk about with my daughter when there were some girls saying bad things about her (or her hair or something that young girls get hurt over) -- who said this? Is this person someone you respect? If not, then why does what they say matter to you and upset you? Pay attention to those you love and respect and IGNORE the idiots!!!!!!

And his whore is an idiot!

BS - me (57 now); WS - him (57 now)
DD 21o, DS 17 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013
DIVORCED!!!! and doing well

posts: 250   ·   registered: Jun. 16th, 2011   ·   location: Texas
id 6613125
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 SurelyNOT (original poster member #40617) posted at 5:43 AM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

My youngest daughter replied to his text saying "you choose them and not us - take responsibility for your actions" - gotta say I was very proud of her for that response. When he asked about the movies or dinner date, my oldest daughter replied "Too little, too late, NOT interested" and she then proceeded to ask him for the $111.00 that he stole from her money box two years ago. The girls gave him something to think about I'm sure, because they heard nothing more from him. AND then I get bombarded with her texts on Christmas Eve.

Don't you get it you idiots, your actions have lead us to this situation. Their behaviour is something that has affected the children on a very deep level, do you really think a movie/dinner is gonna make up for it?

It's the blatant lack of responsibility for them putting us in this quagmire that I just cannot fathom

posts: 95   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2013
id 6613128
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Pass ( member #38122) posted at 5:44 AM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

Fuck them. Arsehole and Fuckhole seem to have problems understanding who left who. As much as I'm sure you'd love to, you don't need to answer any of their shit.

PS: Mind if I cuss a little?

Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.

posts: 3785   ·   registered: Jan. 14th, 2013   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 6613132
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newlysingle ( member #38735) posted at 6:26 AM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

Wow. I'm pissed for you. You must block that whore's number. There is no reason she should contact you...ever.

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

posts: 1273   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 6613162
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TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 2:51 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

You need to text WH and tell him that any more of her attempts to contact you will lead you to file harrassment charges against her and then block her number from your phone. I would also have my attorney send her a letter noting to the same. She has no reason to contact you or your girls. FTG and his whore.

XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"

posts: 10077   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 6613417
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ruby44 ( member #41135) posted at 4:14 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

You are not the bad guy in anyone's eyes but theirs because they do not want to look in the mirror and see what they really are! Cheating immoral assholes.

They have to blame someone for your daughters responses to his lame ass offers so you get to be that person.

They blame shift because they have never taken responsibility for anything in their life. It is always someone else's fault or "fate" or "just meant to be".

They will never say I made this choice and will accept the consequences of my actions.

The OW is getting involved because she sees what the consequences are doing to your WH. He is not happy, he misses his DDs, and she is trying to fix it because it is making her fairytale life uncomfortable for her.

Block her number, if WH is in cardiac arrest she can call 911, not you. If he dies alone that is on him. There is no reason for her to contact you or your daughters block her from their phones as well she is NO ONE to them or you except the sludge that destroyed your family.

Me BW 52, Him WH 48
Married 13 years,
2 DDs (12 and 10)
D-Day Confirmed 10/24/13 suspected before that but did not want to believe it.
WH filed for D 11/12/13
2/8/14 WH asked if he could come home.

posts: 277   ·   registered: Oct. 28th, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 6613530
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PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 4:30 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

Yeah, no. They don't get it. They don't take responsibility for imploding the lives of so many because that would distort their Unicorn SkittleLand fantasy world of luuurve.

I am glad your children stood up for themselves. Mine did he same- and the Dooosh promptly blocked HER from his social media. Why? Well that image he's creating is one of the victim, the man who has had everything taken from him, and now he has finally.. After 20 years of marital HELL.. Finally discovered the true meaning of luuurve.

Can't have the reality of an affair, abandoning your wife and children, restraining order, lying and cheating lifestyle come to light by the truth from your 13 year old go messing all that hard work up now can we?? It's got to be tough to manage all those lies.

So that's why they will claim it's all your fault. It allows the facade to continue. I've learned that everything wrong with the Dooosh is my fault. (Yes, I feel so special and oh so powerful!). It's kind of the running joke with my son now. Haha!

Block the whore and let them spiral their way to hell. After all, their are living the life they finally deserve, right?

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

posts: 3871   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Happyville
id 6613553
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pregnantandsad ( member #40141) posted at 5:42 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

Ditto everything Ruby44 said. Block her number asap- I couldn't even imagine the rage I would feel if OW ever dared contact me, especially about my kids.

M 7 years, together for 12
2 kids- DD5 & DD 1 1/2
D-Day 7/2013 - Divorced!

posts: 160   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2013   ·   location: California
id 6613656
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LoveHerStill ( member #31504) posted at 9:31 PM on Friday, December 27th, 2013

I wish there was an app for that. Maybe something like Whoreblocker or CricketMaster.

Me BH-45 @ Dday
Her WW-44 @ Dday
Married-20yrs
Together-26yrs
D-Day 4/11/10
Divorced 9/13/2010
XWW Married OM 5/23/2011

It only hurts when I breathe.

posts: 774   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2011   ·   location: Coeur d 'Alene, Idaho
id 6613933
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