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Newest Member: YoungNInLove (61865)

User Topic: Need a little help with the 180
♀ 34140
Member # 34140
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So it's only been 2 days I have been doing the 180. I did give wh a heads up a few days ago, told him that I wanted to make sure he fully understands that when things with us start going awry it is because I can not be in a marriage where he is keeping secrets, particularly when those secrets involve another female.

Doing the 180 during the week is easy. But now that the weekend is here I expect him to start questioning me, particularly about why I am not sleeping with him and who knows what else.

The thing is I do not want to get into any dialogue regarding our marriage. I know he is incapable of being honest and anything I may say regarding trust or why I am withdrawing from him etc will just get turned around and it goes in circles.

I don't want to give any 'until I get the truth' ultimatums. Quite honestly I don't want to discuss anything at all. But if I don't respond by ignoring it gives the impression of the cold shoulder which I'm not interested in doing either.

So how do I respond when and IF (because maybe he will do his own 180 version in response) he tries to engage me. TYPICALLY, he usually just pretends everything is NORMAL, so when he asks why I am not sleeping with him or spendin time with him, if I ignore I look like a bitch.

I need something REALLY short and to the point but not cold or hostile sounding, because I am not feeling either cold or hostile. I just don't wan to be bothered.

BS(Me), WH(Him) in our 50's
Status: I'm giving up on him

Posts: 379 | Registered: Dec 2011
♀ 30024
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just don't wan to be bothered.
Sounds like a good answer to me.

BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

Posts: 13452 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
OK now
♀ 14459
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe just suggest you are reflecting on the state of the marriage, all what has happened and just what approach to take. It takes time to come to terms with the disrupting events of the past few months and you are busy deliberating just what to do.

Posts: 2062 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
Topic Posts: 3

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