Today I dropped off DD16 to visit with X and her grandparents. This was not the plan (long story ...) but I did it for DD. So I worked in the morning then drove her 3 hours and turned around and drove home. Fun day...
So when I drop her off, I told her ahead of time that I was not coming in, just dropping her off. When we get there X comes out and hugs her and then pokes his head in the door to say hello and ask me in. I say no, I need to drove home. What follows is a variation of a conversation I have had with him hundreds of times in the past 8 years.
X: Come in for a while and we can talk
Me: No, I need to drive home
X: No you don't! Come in! I haven't seen you for years, we can catch up.
X: Come on!
X: Come in!! I'll buy you dinner (says then chronically unemployed deadbeat).
Me: No, I need to drive home.
X: No you don't!! Come in
X: Come on
Me: No. I need to leave now (note he still has the door open)
X: (getting pissy) I don't see why you can't come in. Ok. Well bye then. Thanks
Me: You're welcome.
It took ALL of my self control not to peel out of the drive way. The only reason I did not was because DD was still standing there.
The good news is that after 8 years I felt no anxiety. None. I still have to actively refrain from snark, but I will probably always have to do that.
But he seemed genially shocked that I still do not want to be buddy-buddy with him. I don't know how many times I have told him that I am not his friend, I will never again be his friend, and he will never again get any piece of me. And yet he still expects it. Fucking idiot!