SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

8 years later, he still thinks I want to be his friend

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

Dreamboat posted 12/27/2013 20:47 PM

Today I dropped off DD16 to visit with X and her grandparents. This was not the plan (long story ...) but I did it for DD. So I worked in the morning then drove her 3 hours and turned around and drove home. Fun day...

So when I drop her off, I told her ahead of time that I was not coming in, just dropping her off. When we get there X comes out and hugs her and then pokes his head in the door to say hello and ask me in. I say no, I need to drove home. What follows is a variation of a conversation I have had with him hundreds of times in the past 8 years.

X: Come in for a while and we can talk
Me: No, I need to drive home
X: No you don't! Come in! I haven't seen you for years, we can catch up.
Me: No
X: Come on!
Me: No
X: Come in!! I'll buy you dinner (says then chronically unemployed deadbeat).
Me: No, I need to drive home.
X: No you don't!! Come in
Me: (silence...)
X: Come on
Me: No. I need to leave now (note he still has the door open)
X: (getting pissy) I don't see why you can't come in. Ok. Well bye then. Thanks
Me: You're welcome.

It took ALL of my self control not to peel out of the drive way. The only reason I did not was because DD was still standing there.

The good news is that after 8 years I felt no anxiety. None. I still have to actively refrain from snark, but I will probably always have to do that.

But he seemed genially shocked that I still do not want to be buddy-buddy with him. I don't know how many times I have told him that I am not his friend, I will never again be his friend, and he will never again get any piece of me. And yet he still expects it. Fucking idiot!

nowiknow23 posted 12/27/2013 20:56 PM

gma56 posted 12/27/2013 21:39 PM

I still do not want to be buddy-buddy

But why the hell NOT ???

Oh, Dream I so understand what you are saying.
I'm 6yrs from dday and separation. We average talking maybe once a year and never fails FT gets chatty. The last time was a couple months ago and he needed some info and called.
He started talking about some movie, no FT I have NOTHING to talk to you about !! Never again in my lifetime !

I've become very selective who I consider friends... There is NO XH on my friend list.

The good news is that after 8 years I felt no anxiety. None. I still have to actively refrain from snark, but I will probably always have to do that.

Yep and that my friend feels so good to finally be there 100%.

peridot posted 12/27/2013 23:36 PM

Is there anyway you can let CSE know where he is and have them arrest him? That'll show him how much you want to be his friend.

BAB61 posted 12/28/2013 01:07 AM

Seriously? I so hope I'm not going to have to deal with that. I'm not even D'd yet .....dang.

Wtg Dreamboat......sink him!

SBB posted 12/28/2013 01:45 AM

I'm so sorry - you don't need to put up with that shit and your daughter doesn't need to witness it. I hope he didn't go on about it when they went inside.

I don't know how many times I have told him that I am not his friend, I will never again be his friend, and he will never again get any piece of me. And yet he still expects it. Fucking idiot!

Interesting how the ones who blow it up seem to always end up the ones who want to play nicey nice afterwards.

I guess you have a different perspective when the knife is in your hand.

Vulcanized posted 12/28/2013 03:59 AM

I guess you have a different perspective when the knife is in your hand.

Fucking fucktard. Why do they not get it???

Thefly559 posted 12/28/2013 05:29 AM

Good for you. I agree you should never give him a piece of you EVER. Let him suffer. It obviously bothers him. F--k him let him squirm 8 ,10 ,20 yrs later. He deserves nothing more. They deserve nothing more.

dmari posted 12/28/2013 19:23 PM

Wow! I'm surprised that waywards continue to try to be friends even after several years. It's so good to hear that you experienced no anxiety with his bratty bullying!

Holly-Isis posted 12/28/2013 21:33 PM

My parents have been D since '81. My mom was a WW. She not only thinks she can be friends with Dad, but she's talked about how she'd like to get back together with him.

I hope your X gives up sooner rather than later.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.