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tesla (original poster member #34697) posted at 3:09 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
I talked to Teslet on the phone for a little bit. I reminded him that I'm picking him up tomorrow (after being at ex-shat's for over a week...ugh!) and that we are taking a plane trip...that I'm packing his bag and wanted to know if there was anything special he'd like to take. He got so excited and started talking about how he wants to take his legos. I got him a couple of lego sets for Christmas and we had a wonderful time putting them together and playing with them Christmas Day. I let him know that his cousin has bunches of them, so we won't need to take too many. He then says this, "But mom, dad says that you won't be able to buy me any more because they are too expensive but it's okay because any new legos I get will be from him."
Whoa. Seriously, this is what ex-shat has stooped to. How sad. BUt to me, this is his karma: I don't need him. So many times going through the D process he would say that I wouldn't be able to make it, that I would need to come to him for help. Even at our court date at the end of October he was saying that if I ever needed money, all I had to do was call him up and ask!! He said this shit...on the stand!!!
I have done just fine. We aren't living the high life here, but I've been careful and we've been able to do some nice things.
And this is all he has left...to send his kid to me in sweatshirts that talk about the little sister and say that I won't be able to afford legos for him. Pathetic.
This guy has completely screwed his own life over. Completely. Trust me, he's fucked. Does he work to make it better? Does he take some ownership for his mistakes? Does he simply say, "Wow, I didn't know you liked legos so much Teslet, maybe we should pick up a set for you and work on it together." Nope. He just sinks deeper.
After all the pain and heartache of his infidelity, the humiliation of what he left me for, all the worrying that I would never be able to be the fun parent, that I would lose Teslet because I would have to be the strict parent...it's going to be ok.
It's absolutely going to be fine. 
I think that for the first time, I truly believe this!
This calls for a glass of wine!
"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear
brightsidegirl ( new member #41664) posted at 3:12 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
That is great stuff. Being able to stand on your own is so powerful. Even if you aren't living the high life, you are filling your home with love and laughter. I am doing the same thing and feel truly wealthy because of it. Keep it up and have fun on your trip!
I tried to be everything you'd ever want and sometimes I even stood on my heart and stomped. Now I'm finally alone and dressed for the show but going nowhere.
--Sara Bareilles
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:17 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
It's absolutely going to be fine.
I think that for the first time, I truly believe this!
Awesome, tesla. Raising a glass to you as well.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 3:24 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
This ^^^^^.
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 3:29 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
Tesla,
Raising a glass to you and your young man. Happy New Year!
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
ruinedandbroken ( member #29250) posted at 3:30 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
Awesome!!! 
“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 8&11
Married 14 yrs Together 21
Gr8Lady ( member #36307) posted at 3:50 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
You SO deserve a gloat.
Have a wonderful trip and Happy New Year. 🍷
BS: Me (70yo)FWH: HIM (72 yo)) serial infidelities over past 35 years
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2013
friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over a
year a year. Now his health is declining,
among the lack of communication.
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 3:58 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
Feel free to come back & gloat when you do something or provide something and Teslet tells you that Daddy said you couldn't or wouldn't. It's a good feeling, and I'd like to share in yours when it happens.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
BAB61 ( member #41181) posted at 4:08 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
I <3 THIS!! Gloat away Tesla!!
Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.
careerlady ( member #16958) posted at 4:25 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
In his dreams! What a loser. Can't believe he can't do better than that. Well I'm proud of you for doing so well, I know it's not easy. Enjoy the fruits of your labor! Happy new year to you and Teslet!
Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 4:35 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
Tesla...how wonderful!!! It IS going to be OK. I am so happy for you that you know that too.
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
SBB ( member #35229) posted at 4:36 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!
yestopants ( member #41631) posted at 4:42 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
Actions speak louder than words! Cheers!
Me: 37
2 amazing kids DS, DD
debbysbaby ( member #32962) posted at 4:43 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
It's time to buy your son one of those big ass hundred dollars sets of Legos and take lots of pictures for him to go show his dad. What a stupid fucker.
-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004
ItHappened2Me2 ( member #32503) posted at 4:49 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
Gloat away!!!!
it's going to be ok.
It's absolutely going to be fine.
I think that for the first time, I truly believe this!
YES!!!!!
BS - me (57 now); WS - him (57 now)
DD 21o, DS 17 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013
DIVORCED!!!! and doing well
peridot ( member #18334) posted at 5:32 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
When is his birthday? I think you should buy the store out of Legos lol.
I think...therefore, I'm single.
It is what it is.
timeforchange ( member #27454) posted at 5:38 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
When you built the backyard play set single handily I thought to myself here is a mom who will be just fine.
😀😀😀😀😀
[This message edited by timeforchange at 11:39 PM, December 27th (Friday)]
Me = BS aged 43
2 boys, 13 and 9
DDay 1/19/10
Confronted him 2/16/10
Finally Divorced 8/29/12
“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
IrishLass518 ( member #34373) posted at 6:10 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
We always knew you had this within you. You just had to find out for yourself. You have so got this. Teslet knows what Dad says is bunk because he sees you disproving exshat daily. He will grow up and know who his dad really is, his dad is teaching him all the time. Teslet also knows who you are and he knows who to count on. Rock on, Tesla, you totally got this
Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"
PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 6:21 AM on Saturday, December 28th, 2013
It's really amazing how "ok" things turn out.
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
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