I also, contacted her, and told her she did not want to come across as a woman who is texting a married man. She told me there was no Flirting going on, she had just confided in him. She quit her job later that afternoon.
I asked him if he had sex with her, and he told me no. I beleive him.
This texting relationship went on for about a month and half. The erased messages and photos really bother me.
The sad part is, we went down this same road two years ago. Same scenario, different work place, different woman. Thousands of text, he told me there was no sex involved. I believed him and we moved on.
Here we are again. I am hurting and mad! I don't want a divorce. We have been married for 16 years and have two young dd.
I'm just feeling broken inside AGAIN, and it's not fair. I'm a good mom, a good person, well educated with a good career.
You both rug swept so it happened again, only because you saw the bill and if I were you I would see what else he was up to.
This time he has to be held accountable with actions, not just words...her quitting is more than just texting and if she is married, inform her husband or bf.
Listen....you have to do what is best for you and your DDs. I am the child of a marriage that shouldn't have lasted. My mother had an affair on my father when I was 10. My father took her back and made it his goal to make my mother "pay" for her infidelity. He used my brother and I as collateral, to make sure she wouldn't leave. Their marriage was miserable and filled with anger, yelling and tears; filled with verbal abuse between them. My mother says she staid for us because she couldn't risk losing us in a court case. I wish she would've divorced my dad.....my brother and I would've found some way to be with her.
I tell her now, as if it matters, I would rather have seen my parents divorced but happy than together and miserable. I attribute a lot of my Generalized Anxiety disorder to the hectic home life I experienced after my mother's affair. It was a battlefield. Kids know when something is wrong and they know when their parents are faking.
You shouldn't stand for it. Your daughters might not turn out like me and stand up for themselves if infidelity (or any other issue) puts them in a terrible position. You might be teaching them that abuse is ok (and infidelity is abuse). Do what's best for them and especially for you.
Stay strong and realize that it is time to put yourself first.
[This message edited by JellyGirl84 at 9:36 PM, December 27th (Friday)]
My husband swore, SWORE, his affair was just emotional- I totally believed him for a week. Totally!! Until I got the nerve to look harder and, sure enough, she met him on his business trips.
I think, whether it was "just" texting or did get physical, that in order to come through the other side of this second betrayal, you have got to confront it head on and not rug sweep and try to put it behind you. It will fester even more within you than the first time, and like Random Thoughts said, it is likely he will do it again if he isn't forced to fully confront what he has done. He has to face it, its not your job to heal from this pain alone.
We are done.
I really don't think there was sex involved, and she is not married. I called his work today to confirm that she indeed did quit, as he had told me. And sure enough she did.
He works away from home, and is only home 2 or 3 days a week.
I want to make it work for my daughters, and he said he would do whatever it takes to make it work and make me happy.
Please explain the rug swept?
Thank you all
Both of you need to sit down with a professional and talk about his cheating, I do have to ask why you believe him when he repeated his earlier actions.
Him being a liar will lie to protect himself from his actions and just telling you no sex happened should not believed.
We both work, he works away from the home. We do not have sex (very very little).
Two daughters and they sleep in the room with me. I have not given him the attention he wants, so he went elsewhere.
I am not justifying his behavior, he took Vows with me 16 years ago. He knew better, and he knows he done wrong.
I am not going to take the blame for this, he is in the wrong.
I think counsling may be in order.
Even though he is a liar, I can tell when he is lieing or telling the truth.
I don't know......I just don't know what to do.
Sorry, I think you've just gotten to the tip of the iceburg.