I think he is going to play the game of just "forgetting" to pay his half. Honestly, right now I would just love to be detached from him and one great way to do so is to pay these bills on my own to prove to myself I can do it....but damn it! He should be made to pay for SOMETHING! What has he actually suffered over since DDay. Not a damn thing.
Then, since I make more money than he does I have the fear that each day I wait to file because I can't afford it is another day I'm legally married to him and he can legally dip his hands in for HALF. I don't know what to do. I'm so frustrated.
He emailed me today to "inform" me that the cable bill will get paid in full by him (after I told him I knew from the company that it was only in his name and collections would only go after him) and he needed to come get the cable box to bring back to the service provider. I have managed to ignore this email. On top of everything, Friday he hands over the title to his shitty 13-year-old car that, for whatever reason, was in his mom's name during our marriage and friggin' Monday the transmission line breaks and I'm out $600 today. Shouldn't he pay half? Wtf?
I also want to call his company and tell the, how those two turds were screwing around on company time and company property for no other reason than to see if he'll get some consequences.
Ugh, I just need someone here to tell me what to do. Where do I go? Do I need to change my thinking? If you can find anything in that mess I just wrote on which you can comment, I'd appreciate it.
[This message edited by JellyGirl84 at 11:32 PM, December 27th (Friday)]
As for karma, he will take care if that all by himself. Divorce his ass and move on. You don't have children with him, so you're not tied to his stupid ass. I'm stuck parenting with mine for another 17 years. Oh how I wish I could just cut all ties and move on.
Keep your head on straight right now and let your anger fuel your way through the divorce. You can do this!
I agree with newlysingle, think with your head .. and tell your heart to wait .. karma ALWAYS wins in the end.
Get your shit done, and get the fuck out. Never, and I mean NEVER look back. You have no reason to have contact with him after the D is final. Don't. Ever. Again.
[This message edited by JellyGirl84 at 12:15 AM, December 28th (Saturday)]
Do you have a credit card (joint) that you could use for a lawyer?
He would still be liable for half the bills and such also. You really do need to consult an attorney if only to get questions answered.
Legal revenge is very very expensive and the only people who end up happy out of it are lawyers.
Get your revenge the good old fashioned and certain way - indifference and living well. Detachment takes time - NC is key here. With detachment comes healing and the glorious road to indifference.
By the time we reach complete indifference revenge won't matter so much.
You make more than he does; if you cause him to lose his job, you could very well wind up paying him support if he decides to file for it.
Take the bit of advice you've been given; get out of the marriage, split everything evenly (even the bills) and move on. You will be happier and healthier this way. Use a mediator or paralegal if necessary, or just get the forms from the court and draw them up yourself.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
But as others have stated...divorce is a business. As a SAHM, I felt like I was getting screwed in the D...especially since he was the one that broke the marriage contract. Doing the D like a business deal was much better for my healing and he had no grounds to pick a fight with me and look for drama.
2 years out from D-day and 1 year post D, the karma bus has run him into the ground.
The best part? I didn't have to do a damn thing...he brought it all on himself.
The consequences of their actions may take awhile to become popcorn worthy...but the karma bus eventually does find them.
Repeat to yourself: the D is a business deal.
I got screwed financially as well, but my freedom and the lack of courtroom drama and expense were worth it to me. Now, I have my own little house and a pretty happy life, and that's way better than revenge. Like the others said-- karma will find your WH; you won't have to do a thing to him. He'll do plenty to himself.
I already had some good news today: I finally got my internet/cable provider to understand that the outstanding balance to our account is under my WH's name only and it is HIS problem he chose premium channels without consulting me and therefore has a huge bill to pay. I finally had someone show me some damn mercy and start up my own account! Amen!
I am going to be 30 in January. Thirty, flirty and THRIVING like my WH's favorite movie mentions. I'm going out tonight to a friend's house for some drinks and food.
This was the last part of getting my ducks in a row (besides divorce) and it finally fell into place. You're all correct- no matter how I get the D, I need to get it done as clean as possible and remove him from my life like someone would remove a wart off their ass.