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Divorce final

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Melody3 posted 12/28/2013 05:13 AM

As of yesterday at 8 a.m. it became final.

I feel numb.

copout posted 12/28/2013 06:40 AM

I have 3 weeks until my trial to finalize mine.
I have been full of anxiety.Is the numb a good or bad feeling?
I'm really looking forward to a new beginning.
Hugs to you and your children

tesla posted 12/28/2013 08:21 AM

I didn't feel joyous at getting the D finalized either. But it is an important step to moving forward and I'm glad that you've got there.
((((Melody))))

macakipa posted 12/28/2013 08:23 AM

^^ what tesla said.

(((Melody3)))

solus sto posted 12/28/2013 08:24 AM

((((Melody))))

Melody3 posted 12/28/2013 08:48 AM

Thanks everyone.

I think in the end neither one of us really wanted this.......

But it's a new beginning. If things are meant to be in the future they will be and if not we'll always be the parents of two great little ones.

BAB61 posted 12/28/2013 08:51 AM

It's a new season in your life and a huge adjustment. Be good to you! (((Melody)))

Melody3 posted 12/28/2013 08:52 AM

AFter everything that has happened people think I should be a bitter unhappy bitch to him. But I'm not. Is it wrong? Honestly, I don't think it's who I am. Trust me I have been mad as hell at times!!! Maybe some men and women are but I'd rather not hold onto that hate and set a better example for our children too.........

Melody3 posted 12/28/2013 08:53 AM

It is a huge adjustment. One day at a time.....I just gotta take care of me which I'm not used to...

ItHappened2Me2 posted 12/28/2013 08:57 AM

(((Melody3)))

Focus on your new beginning and getting away from the constant rollercoaster you've been on for years!

You do not have to be a bitter bitch! You don't have to be friends with him -- but you don't have to be a bitch either.

Focus on you an your kiddos!

(((HUGS)))

Melody3 posted 12/28/2013 10:09 AM

I'm feeling very very anxious. I don't think I should have went thru w/ this yesterday. We were not 100% sure. BUt we were not 100% sure about reconciling either.

I see my counselor tomorrow. I think I need it as I feel confused.

badmedicine posted 12/28/2013 13:16 PM

Melody3 I can empathize with all of this and it is so hard. So painful.

You don't have to be angry and bitter. This is someone you love(d). I don't want to get divorced either and I have come thisclose to calling my attorney and telling her to wait. WH said he wanted R at first but made no effort over 5 months and I just kept getting hurt. I can't imagine having kids wrapped up in this and I agree that a good example is important. Just make sure your heart is safe and that you can heal it. Boundaries are important; bitchiness is not. Keep a list of your reasons for divorce and keep it handy. Even when you feel sad and want to have your marriage back reading that list should bring you back to the reality and the lack of R. Not saying the reality is warm and sunny, but it is real and not fantasy dreams.

Keep going and posting. ((hugs))

Gemini71 posted 12/28/2013 13:23 PM

I understand Melody. If you truly change your mind, it's not that hard to undo a Divorce. However, you can love someone and just not be able to be with them. You don't have to be a bitch, and you don't have to be a friend, there is plenty of middle ground to explore.

Personally, I just recently turned the corner from anger at my STBXH. He's a sad pathetic little boy who's gotten himself into some really grown up trouble. I will never say never about reconciling, because I would have said he'd never cheat on me. That obviously didn't work.

Allow yourself plenty of time to adjust to your new normal. At least you are protected legally.

Nature_Girl posted 12/28/2013 14:42 PM

((((HUGS))))

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