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Question mostly for WS but BS can answer too

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SoOver96 posted 12/28/2013 11:33 AM

What is your definition of STRANGE? The reason I ask is because last month my WS says to me you don't have to worry about me going for strange. Yes I've been sitting on this for a month I'm a Moran. Baw I asked him his definition of Strange and he responds not familiar WTF he's aready had this OW more then twice what's to stop him not me I'm nothing especially since he's told ow he's only with me because of the kids my youngest is got 6 more years to be 18 I love him with everything I have but I don't want to be with someone that doesn't love me and I don't want to be with a man that thinks he is obligated to be with me

jackson posted 12/28/2013 12:23 PM

I suppose he means no more new (strange) pussy. Not exactly reassuring is it?

SoOver96 posted 12/28/2013 13:28 PM

Isn't that the truth mixed emotions here

solus sto posted 12/28/2013 14:11 PM

In vernacular, "strange" refers to a new woman, in a sexual context. "Getting some strange" means having sex with a woman other than your wife.

steadfast1973 posted 12/28/2013 14:14 PM

They almost ALWAYS tell the OW that they are here for the kids... It's like part of the script.

NeverAgain2013 posted 12/28/2013 14:27 PM

They almost ALWAYS tell the OW that they are here for the kids... It's like part of the script.

LMAO...and when their kids are grown with kids of their own, they use the excuse that they can't leave their grandkids.

SoOver96 posted 12/28/2013 16:49 PM

So it's not another woman? So then with ow saying that I shouldn't have to have to worry?

painfulpast posted 12/28/2013 16:57 PM

"strange" is a new sexual partner. So yes, it IS another woman.

Don't listen to OW or the things your H said to her. Cheaters lie to everyone, and OW was willing to sleep with a man that was married and has children. Do you really think she is someone that you should trust?

Why didn't you ask your WS what he meant by his comment?

SoOver96 posted 12/28/2013 17:52 PM

When I heard him say his definition I basically was in shock in my head I was thinking WTF if that's what that means couldn't you still go to the GTF if we have problems. my definition of strange anyone that isn't my husband. He's cheated on me three times twice with the same person so is she still strange or no? I don't trust her at all because my husband isn't the only married man she's been with and they all have restraining orders against her except my husband he won't even do a no contact letter. So I'm confused on how he really feels

painfulpast posted 12/28/2013 18:00 PM

He's cheated 3 times, twice with this woman that causes men to get restraining orders? That sounds dangerous all by itself.

Very respectfully, making flippant comments about 'worrying about strange' doesn't sound very remorseful. Neither does a refusal to send an NC letter.

May I ask, what boundaries have you put in place, and how is he helping you to heal?

SoOver96 posted 12/28/2013 19:10 PM

He said I don't have to worry about him cheating on me again that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He has been coming home and staying home which is a huge step for him

Clarrissa posted 12/28/2013 22:40 PM

FWW here. If he doesn't do the work to find out why he cheated and change his way of coping with his issues in a healthier manner, he can promise all he wants, won't change anything. It takes a hell of a lot more than "I'll never do it again" to fix the damage.

For true R to even *start* NC absolutely *must* be established. A simple "Never contact me, my wife or my family again. If you persist, legal action will be taken." Even better, have a lawyer send her this. That way she knows your WH is serious and it firmly slams the door on the possibility that your WH may want to reconnect at some point.

Right now, I don't think you're in R because your WH doesn't appear to be all in. Not if he won't send the NC letter. I can't understand why he wouldn't either considering she already has restraining orders on her. Why is he afraid to add another if necessary?

This soon out and for a long time to come, you need to watch his actions. Forget what he says, what are his actions telling you? They're telling me he wants to rugsweep and not deal with what he did, hoping it will all just go away. Won't happen, especially if you have a psycho OW in the picture.

SoOver96 posted 12/29/2013 15:34 PM

He says he doesn't have anything to say GTF is the reason why he won't do no contact letter.

little turtle posted 12/29/2013 16:33 PM

What is GTF? I checked the abbreviation thread and there was nothing. Get the Fudge (Out) is all I can think of and that doesn't make sense.

Anyway, it sounds to me that your WS told you last month that you don't need to worry about him finding someone else. He already has you and OW.

SoOver96 posted 12/29/2013 23:46 PM

It is the name for her stands for Gutter Fish Troll and I know for a fact that he's not seeing her because of the glares I get I just don't understand his definition of strange he's very complicated he's been that way since he was 14

steadfast1973 posted 12/30/2013 05:19 AM

Yeah, my WH told his EAP he was here for the kids, and that he was in love with her, and i was an obligation... However, when I set him free, with me is where he stayed. Twice. I couldn't kick the motherfucker out.

For me, strange means cheating. Someone other than your wife.

[This message edited by steadfast1973 at 5:20 AM, December 30th (Monday)]

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