This is for the newly hurt.
It's been 4 years almost to the day since I found out. If you told me 4 years ago that I will recover from the pain, I would never have believed you. I did, and I'm here to tell you that you will too.
Most people ask about the journey to recovery. How long does it take? When does the pain go away? Will I find happiness again?
Right now, the pain is real. There is an empty hole in your stomach that nothing can fill. I get it. It hurts. Bad. I remember those early stages and how I clung to this forum with a death grip. This was my therapy. I cried with others who understood what I was going through. They gave me solace and made me feel like I wasn't alone. Then I decided to take a break from this website because it's too depressing and I didn't want to be "reminded." At some point, I noticed that there were actually whole stretches of seconds in my day when I didn't think about the infidelity. Those second turned in to minutes, which turned into hours. Then all of a sudden, days went by when I would "forget." I started to laugh again, I mean, the real, careless, heartfelt kind of laugh that I used to have before "the event." Eventually, I logged in less and less, until it got to the point that I haven't logged in in so long that I forgot my user name and password (i.e. today).
They say time heals all wounds. Here's the problem: it actually does take time. I'm here to tell you that it happened to me. It will happen to you. I am writing this because others have helped me along the way. Every single reply I received, no matter how short, showed me that I wasn't alone. I hope that in some small way this message will help you too. It's my way of giving back to the universe and all those good people like you who lent me an ear when I had no one to turn to. I wish you good luck on your journey.
May you know no more sorrow.
[This message edited by mdohoh at 8:11 PM, December 28th (Saturday)]
Together: 11 years
Married: 5.5 years
A man leaves a woman for another woman, but a woman leaves a man for herself.