Forum Archives

Return to Forum List


You are not logged in. Login here or register.

FracturedSoul posted 12/29/2013 13:58 PM

I feel so stupid for asking this....but is there anyway to predict what could possibly be a trigger?
We had a lovely day as a family...laughing together, having fun and suddenly out of nowhere...BOOM!...I start crying and feeling sorry for myself. No one said or did anything why am I crying???

Skan posted 12/29/2013 16:28 PM

Over time, you will start to figure out things that are likely to make you trigger, but honestly, if there's a way to predict all of them, I'll be darned if I've figured it out! I triggered hard last night because I spilled a glass of wine. As you said, just out of no where.

creativecat posted 1/1/2014 13:56 PM

I've triggered in happy situations because all of a sudden I think, we were just like this when all of WH's actvities were going on all those years! I'm still in the Why/How could you stage, so it comes up for me pretty frequently. Dday#2 for us was only about 5 months ago, so I hope I can get a handle on the triggers soon, too.

greengiant posted 1/1/2014 20:17 PM

Sometimes I think you'll be able to predict what will be, sometime it is just impossible I think. I think it is part of the rollercoster, sometime when it has to go down, it just goes.

Justgreatnews posted 1/1/2014 22:12 PM

Last night when I triggered while making meatballs I realized this is going to be a long and bumpy road.

inshockandhurt posted 1/1/2014 23:24 PM

Unfortunately triggers are unpredictable, but what you can do is arm yourself with ways to deal with them when they happen. Sometimes you will be able to control your reaction to triggers by using various techniques, like the stop sign or picturing a box and putting the trigger in it to think about later when you are able to relax and let yourself freak out. I know how hard it is to control these things and honestly most of the time you may not be able to, although as time goes on the triggers will have less of a hold on you. From your registration date it looks like you are pretty close to Dday so everything will be a very hard to control but there will come a time when you are better able to deal with them. I remember a few days after my Dday we took my our son to a museum to try and get some space from what was happening and I sat there staring at the huge trains with tears running down my face and people staring at me. At this point all you can do is be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to be a mess. Hugs FracturedSoul.

inshockandhurt posted 1/1/2014 23:27 PM

I just read your profile, it looks like you are not new to this rodeo, but I think the same advice applies, they can't be predicted but you can own them by controlling your thoughts as best you can and giving yourself permission to be upset, sometimes when I refuse to acknowledge my trigger and try to simply deny them they just get worse.

Sadjacey posted 1/2/2014 08:12 AM

He used Asian prostiitutes - Asian women trigger me. But maybe the hardest is, as others have said, when all seems to be going well, and the thoughts ambush me. Not nice.

steadfast1973 posted 1/2/2014 09:57 AM

So many triggers. Good things trigger me, silly things, jokes, lines from movies, story lines, watching Good Luck Charlie with DD10, and it's one where lies get them in trouble, triggering me, blond women (also, all over Good Luck Charlie), vanilla ice cream, smells, his text ringtone, (it used to be mine, too, but I had to change it)... Songs... Everything is a potential trigger.

sisoon posted 1/2/2014 10:41 AM

I think you can predict some, but some are always going to come out of left field.

3 years out, pictures of butterflies always trigger me. (They told each other some shit like they were in cocoons and soon they'd come out as beautiful butterflies. ) There are still surprises, though, and they're the ones that really hurt.

[This message edited by sisoon at 10:43 AM, January 2nd (Thursday)]

steadfast1973 posted 1/7/2014 15:55 PM

So, my daughter loves Good Luck Charlie, but that show is apparently a trigger fest for me. Attractive young blondes abound, many episodes involve lying (with consequences), two epis with cheating as the theme, and now, they have a new baby... And his name is the name the prostitute uses as her "stage name". Bad enough? Nope, my dd10 got a new doll, and also named the doll that. And my dd12 apparently has a friend at school with the name. They have said the name like 30 times in the last half hour, and I am ready to freak the fuck out.

FracturedSoul posted 1/10/2014 04:51 AM

Hi all...sorry I didn't reply after the post...I forgot to tick the little box that links responses to my email...

Thank you for your responses...I really wish there was some magic trick to predict and deal with triggers...but knowing that it is at least normal (for us as BS's) helps alot!

steadfast1973 posted 1/10/2014 05:05 AM

me, too. I think it's just... Time. Sometimes they make me sad, sometimes, scared, and sometimes enraged. But, yeah, i am getting sick of this whole fight or flight bullshizz. Just trying to watch a damn movie is a nightmare.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 ®. All Rights Reserved.