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Reconciliation :
Do I say something?

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 hopeful18 (original poster member #19234) posted at 11:10 PM on Sunday, December 29th, 2013

Wh is with his cousin and our daughter at an out of town sporting event. Cousin has no idea about As. His wife recently "dumped" him. He is a nice guy and some friends took him to get a makeover and for a guys trip.

Just spoke to my wh and everyone is having a nice time. He said his cousin just got back from his trip and can not believe how many hot beautiful girls talked to him. He is in his 50s and is wealthy. My guess is they view him as a rich older guy. He's not too good looking and a little awkward, but nice. He was also at a vacation spot in Florida known for "partying".

So, as wh repeats this too me I start to get upset. I feel like his cousin is making the single life sound very appealing. Wh just repeating what cousin said. Had no idea that it triggered me. To make matters worse he is with my daughters friend and her dad. That dad just got divorced. He is in his 40s and dating a 25 year old.

Am I overreacting. Just feels like he is with two guys that are very much in demand. I'm sure my wh knows he would be too if we were not together. He is successful, nice looking and gives the impression of being the nicest guy in the world.

I just feel bad about thus. Nothing wh did or anyone LSD he is with. Do I bring this up? Oh and the place his cousin got back from was where my wh spent an awful trip last march celebrating our 20th. I had no idea he was in an ea and a pa with two different people. Ugh!

posts: 433   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2008
id 6616144
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eachdayisvictory ( member #40462) posted at 11:29 PM on Sunday, December 29th, 2013

Say something.

You need to be pursuing activities that make you BOTH feel safe, and it doesn't sound like this trip is a very healthy thing for a recovering marriage.

me, BW: 37
FWH: 38
together 19 years, M 13 years
Dday: Feb 2013
LTA for 2+years
children: 2 boys age 6 and 9
Reconciled

posts: 530   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2013   ·   location: nova Scotia, Canada
id 6616158
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jstbreathe ( member #40829) posted at 12:18 AM on Monday, December 30th, 2013

Say something?

Why is he there????

The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.
Stephen King
Me: BW
Him: WH
Married: 20 years
2 sons, 13 & 17
Raising my sons

posts: 170   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2013
id 6616207
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 hopeful18 (original poster member #19234) posted at 2:58 AM on Monday, December 30th, 2013

I did not foresee this being a problem in terms of triggers. He took my daughter and went with her best friend and her dad. His cousin has seats right next to them.

I was fine with the trip. But then this triggered me. I guess I will talk to wh when he gets home. Part of me does not want to though because let's say that's not nowhere thought about it? Am I then planting the idea? I don't know? Also what can he possibly say or do about this one? Ugh!

posts: 433   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2008
id 6616347
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steadfast1973 ( member #24719) posted at 11:01 AM on Monday, December 30th, 2013

Be honest about your feelings.

Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"

posts: 2303   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2009   ·   location: Kentucky
id 6616590
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