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Newest Member: Helplessylost (61505)

User Topic: Just a rant about the In-laws
♂ 41457
Member # 41457
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talking with my SIL (her husband, my WW's brother, has had several A's and they are in the process of D) yesterday, I found out that my MIL knew about my WW talking to the OM before I did! She told my SIL about it in July, and I only found out in August. You would think that someone (MIL, SIL, BIL) would have told me. I know that my WW is their "blood" family, but it seems to me that someone should have told me! Especially because of the faith they all claim to follow!

I had actually called my MIL on D-day in August for reassurance that her daughter wouldn't have an A. And, she played dumb! I'm not surprised really, but it does make me mad!

The last time (and likely last time ever) that I spoke to my MIL was to tell her that her daughter was going setting herself up to get hurt with this OM (just after I confirmed they spent the afternoon at the same Inn). He is no good according on several people (including my WW after she first met him!). I don't want to see my WW hurt, and that's the direction she's headed. But like everything else, her family just buries their head in the sand and pretends that her daughter/sister is not an adulterer or lying, manipulative, dishonest, and deceitful person.

It makes me want to punch a hole in the wall!

Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
♀ 41045
Member # 41045
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow your inlaws sound just as crappy and unsupportive as mine. My SIL sent WS a text telling him that I was being way too difficult with him. Oh really??? Because I threw him out for cheating on me?
How crappy that your MIL didn't say anything but honestly that's to be expected. When I vented to my IC about my inlaws she told me not to bother trying to justify anything to them or expect them to see things from my point of view. They don't want to face the reality that their family member could be doing anything wrong or against their faith. Don't waste your time trying to get them to see it your way. It might just make you more frustrated.

Me 42
WS 41
2 young kids, Married 10 yrs
OW 22y/o
Dday 10/8/13

Posts: 149 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ 37735
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Don't get me started.

My MIL, an unremorseful OW & WW herself
who states that "she didn't do anything wrong,
& she was entitled to be happy",
blamed WH's A on me, that I didn't keep the house like a magazine, that I didn't wear makeup enough.
Her first words to me on Dday
(I asked him to leave & he went to stay with her) were:
"Honey, what do you expect him to do, grovel?"

Here is what I think the right thing for her to say to her son in that moment should have been:
" How could you do that to the mother of your 4 children, who has sacrificed so much for you & our family over the past 23 years."

There were many more comments, during the time that WH & I were separated while he would not stop contact with OW, such as:

"Honey, if you don't take him back, there will be 20 women lined up at the door for him."

Needless to say, I have had almost nothing to do with her since Dday (except that we were both at a family funeral, etc.)

These are toxic people. Part of getting healthier is to remove toxic people from your life.

Me: BW
Him: WH --Had 10 mo. EA/ PA with COW; Dday 5/2011
Married 28 years/Together 29 years/4 kids together
OW 20 years younger than us/divorced no kids
Trying to R; don't know what the final outcome will be

Posts: 2474 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 3

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