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Newest Member: Tigress5455 (45753)

User Topic: 6 years out
only once
18835
Member # 18835
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ok after the last 6 years of this infidelity shit, I honestly think I have to do the 180. My WS has no interest in sex whatsoever and I am frustrated sexually and it really affects me somewhat personally. It's been a year and a half? Is this normal? Some wayward spouse input would be appreciated.


Me BS 54
Him 54 FWS
D-day Oct 19/07

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Canada
HardenMyHeart
♂ 15902
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The 180 will not change the sexual relationship. Do you know why your WS is not interested in sex? If not, this speaks volumes about the state of your marriage.

I think you need to determine if you can by happy with a sexless marriage the rest of your life. If not, you may need to make other choices.

So sorry for what you are going through.

[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 9:45 PM, December 29th (Sunday)]


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5717 | Registered: Aug 2007
GodsPeach
♀ 40417
Member # 40417
Sad  Posted: 9:44 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wish I could help. Mine is suffering from guilt at first and now performance anxiety. He is recovering from sex addiction. Now, that he and I both have to learn to be intimate outside the bedroom and I am sick and tired.
My whole marriage was a lie from the beginning because I didn't know he had these issues.
Frankly, I understand as much as a wife can, but after all the emotion neglect, stonewalling, and cheating from day one..I don't know if I can support him.
He is trying hard, but it has taken a year and six months to get the truth about his trail of deception.
My own childhood issues of sex addiction and abandonment
Have made it hard to accept much less forgive.

He is doing so much to be real, but my own family of origin issues make me want to run.


Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2013
SlowUptake
♂ 40484
Member # 40484
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is this normal?

Normal? No. Sadly way too common with some WS's and BS's(understandably) though.

I feel you. It's been two years between drinks for me. But then I deserve it, you don't.

You haven't given much to go on, so I am going to ask questions. Please don't be offended.

Have you discussed the problem with him?
Does he acknowlege it is a serious problem with the marriage?

Are you passive. That is do you expect him to iniate all the time?
Do you do anything to entice him?
You could try the direct approach. Like "Hey WS, I'm a full grown healthy woman with needs, I want sex right now, time to man up".

On the other hand maybe he has ED or PE issues and is too embarrassed.
It may be an hormonal issue (low testosterone). He may need to seek medical help.
Does he have a porn & masterbation habit?

Maybe he doesn't want you, he just wants you around.
If that's the case, you have a decision to make.

Hope this helps.

[This message edited by SlowUptake at 9:49 PM, December 29th (Sunday)]


Me:WS,50+
Her:BS,50+ (WantToWakeUp)
Married 33yrs
Dday Dec 2009

"Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few." Pythagoras

There are two kinds of people in the world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Limbo in Oz
only once
18835
Member # 18835
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

not much left for me. think I have to leave.


Me BS 54
Him 54 FWS
D-day Oct 19/07

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Canada
only once
18835
Member # 18835
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, December 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

not much left for me. think I have to leave.


Me BS 54
Him 54 FWS
D-day Oct 19/07

Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 6

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