SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My legal issue with WS is financial only, mostly real estate. We are not married.

Thank heaven for that.

So I am going to hire a lawyer to be my advocate. What happens if she wishes to approach him with terms, and he cannot afford an attorney but we are (likely) not going to court.

Is there a free attorney service for out-of-court issues, or would he be on his own.

I have no idea how this works.

Thanks for any info, and so sorry for those that have fought much larger and much more painful legal battles!!!

If he chooses not to get an attorney, that is 100% his decision and he would be on his own. The only concern I would have is that he could petition the court down the road to change things because he did not have counsel. However, if your attorney makes things airtight, you should be okay.

There are no free court services for civil matters; only in criminal matters are public defenders provided.

Do NOT talk to him and do NOT share any information with him. Do NOT.

Normally once a property settlement is made (and it looks like that is all that will be determined here), it generally cannot be changed unless there was outright fraud involved.

Cat

Although Cat is mostly correct, there are some free legal services out there. Each Bar Association has a "pro bono" project where lawyers volunteer their services. Lawyers are supposed to provide a certain amount of their time for free services each year. There are also some "Legal Aid" services in most areas. Those programs are government funded and serve specific targeted groups, like low income tenants and the elderly. Finally, there are usually clinics affiliated with law schools that provide services similar to Legal Aid. There are supervisory attorneys that look over the shoulders of aspiring law students helping low income people with civil matters.

I would not bother with any of that now. Get your lawyer to advise you and at such time as your STBX makes representation an issue or your lawyer thinks it is a problem, then deal with it.

My STBXWW didn't have legal representation. However we agreed on the terms up front. So I went out and got the lawyer. The lawyer drafted the property settlement agreement which covered everything and she also drafted and submitted the CS and custody split info to the family court. STBXWW had to come in and sign the document before it coudl be sent. My L did inform her that she had every legal right to review the document and have another L look over it since my L could not represent her. STBX looked over the document and still did not want to go see a lawyer so she signed the document and it was submitted to the courts.

Not your problem if he chooses not to get an attorney. He has the choice, if he chooses not to, that's on him. You get it written up legally, he can look it over, take it to someone, etc. If he signs it, without you standing on top of him not giving him time to read it over, then when it's done it's done.

NPD-x chose to not use a lawyer. He tried to manipulate my lawyer, and tried to use my lawyer as his lawyer.

His behavior was so odd, because he only hurt himself in the long run. At that time, I did not understand his issues and how severely his thinking was compromised. I wanted to use mediation to work things out, because I did not realize the extent of his emotional problems. The first attempts at mediation showed his ugly side. And made me see how important is was that I had legal protection from his selfish/bully and irrational tactics.

Then him representing himself showed how manipulative he is, and his grandiose ideas that he could also control the courts and my lawyer.

In the end the settlement worked out in my children's benefit. However, he does not see it that way, of course. He views it that I am stealing his money.

He recently filed a motion for modification of CS, SS, and modification of parenting time. He is using a lawyer this time, and the motion states he needed an expedited hearing (skip the state required mediation for disputes) due to his dire financial state plus he wants me to pay him back child support and give him $25,000 for money he says I owe him. We have been divorced for 5.5 years and I his claims are certainly creative and show the distortions in his thinking.

Ummm, he makes $94,000 and my 18 year old daughter will be emancipated in 4 months.