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Newest Member: Dilbert (46033)

User Topic: New place update - WS crying a lot, supposedly
GotPlayed
♂ 41294
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Moved in yesterday. Had to buy a fridge inpromptu because the guy who was selling me a used one disappeared (craigslist is unreliable). So there I was, rushing to get a fridge at 7pm so food doesn't spoil. Gas was off, so we froze (good thing sleeping bags are nice and toasty). The gas guy finally turned it on this AM.

DD is still with me. She came to the office with me. She wants to stay the whole week with me - she finds it more peaceful.

Tonight it's all about putting furniture together. Tomorrow I get my son, and I'll spend new years together with both my wonderful little people.

Lots of stuff happening at work too, but I'm juggling it.

Things were tense when I went to pick up some furniture at the house. She just kept staring, I don't think she was expecting. She helped put together a couple of things (sheets so DD could have sheets on her bed, stuff like that), I politely but firmly mostly ensured she kept out of it.

When I moved out yesterday I saw the "Sorry Ladies, I'm taken" shirt I ripped (I ripped that shirt without WS knowing and kept it around ripped after I figured out she had acted proud and - now I see it as smug, superior and cynical - when I wore it last, since at the time she was already deep in with OM without me knowing it). I just left it there, bunched up in a corner on the ground after I moved the guest room furniture out to use as my master bedroom furniture.

Maybe she found it, maybe not. Don't know.. It would be nice if she had though.

A bit ago I stopped at the house I left to pick up some tools to make assembling the furniture a bit easier. WS wasn't there, my son with the babysitter. MIL said WS has been crying a lot. Haven't really heard a lot from her. No texts other than kid logistics from her, no phone calls. Kind of welcoming the silence actually.

Today I need to get groceries now that I have a full fridge, and also a wireless router since they're putting internet tomorrow morning (they moved my date - grrr). At least there's going to be hot water. I'm in desperate need of a shower and shave!


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
Me: BH 42, Her: WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Ex-con for DV. Now with new ROs!
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sounds like your WS doesn't like what Consequences look like.

Enjoy your new place with your kiddos!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6737 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well poor little dumpling doesn't like her new reality eh?

Sucks to be her. You keep moving forward, and stay as positive as you can. So glad your littles will be with you!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Try not to let anyone tell you anything about her. It is a moments satisfaction but you'll have another grubby tentacle to hack off later.

Sometime soon your give-a-fuck will be broken and you won't care what she thinks or does. Until then fake it till you make it. NC is evicting her from your mind as much as you can. I used to use the mental image of a stop sign to ease the obsessive thinking. You're building new habits - it will take time and practice but you'll get there.

I loved getting my new home together. This post has brought back that time for me. I was still hurting and as scared as hell but I was also giddy with delight and excited, so excited. It felt good to be in charge of my own personal space. In a way I was reclaiming me.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5734 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Chrysalis123
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am living vicariously through your posts. Have fun with moving in.


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2819 | Registered: Jan 2010
BAB61
♀ 41181
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, December 30th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Yay!!! You are in the new place!!!! Your dd has a bed!!! You will have both kids for NYE!!!!! Woooohoooo!!

So glad you ripped that shirt!! I took down a pic off the wall and ripped it in half ... shredded him and put that 1/2 in the recycle ... put myself back up in the frame and re-hung it on the wall.

Have a Happy New Year's Eve with the kiddos!!


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
GotPlayed
♂ 41294
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 4:31 AM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone.

I got groceries, made dinner, cleaned up for tomorrow and assembled a dining set and the two kids beds. 6 hours building furniture (it's 2am) but this place is ready to receive my kids tomorrow.

WS is dropping him off. I hope she doesn't criticize the place. It's certainly not perfect, but I think it's damn good for 2 days old.

Anyway, thanks again! I'll go to sleep so I'm functional tomorrow. :)


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
Me: BH 42, Her: WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Ex-con for DV. Now with new ROs!
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
ThisHell
♀ 37089
Member # 37089
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey there,
You don't need to let your WW into your new home! She can stay in the car, drop off at the door, whatever, but you sure as heck don't need to invite her in or defend any of your choices to her. Trust me, I made the mistake of allowing my ex to carry our sleeping five year old in and lay him on the couch once, and ever since he feels comfortable coming in with the kids when he drops them off and trying to chat and hang out in my damn kitchen. When I am short and to the point, not feeding into the convo, he gets that pathetic sheepish look and draws out his goodbyes to the boys (to make me feel bad surely). Just know, the tone you set now with her will either be continued, or since most wayward have no concept of respecting boundaries, will be pushed farther and farther and you will be made the bad guy for holding to those boundaries


Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

Posts: 309 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: NC
sparkysable
♀ 3703
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely do not let her in. This is YOUR space. Don't let her presence defile it. There is no reason for her to check it out "for the kids" either. She's not handing over a newborn baby here, so don't fall for it.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3564 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
GotPlayed
♂ 41294
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks

She parked out front, I went out to receive them. Kids went in, she gave me their things, said "can I come in" then immediately said "it's ok, don't worry about it". I didn't say anything. Maybe I made a face? Don't know.

Anyway, got my little ones, sore and tired from building furniture but at least I have my kids with me, and peace.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
Me: BH 42, Her: WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Ex-con for DV. Now with new ROs!
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
ItHappened2Me2
♀ 32503
Member # 32503
Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad the kids are there, super-glad she didn't invade your space!

Have a wonderful NYE!!!!!


BS - me (52); WS - him (52)
DD 15yo, DS 11 yo
Married 25 years (together 27+/-)
DDay #1 - March 18, 2011
DD #2 (after 3 + month TT and false R -- the affair had gone underground) - June 28,2011
DD3: June 19, 2013 - he started up again with the

Posts: 241 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Texas
littlefoggy
♀ 41429
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GotPlayed, you are my D/S hero.

I wish I could handle my WS as well as you are.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 499 | Registered: Nov 2013
GabyBaby
♀ 26928
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, December 31st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

at least I have my kids with me, and peace
Both things are priceless. Happy New Year!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6737 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Topic Posts: 13

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