"You must try to generate happiness within yourself. If you aren't happy in one place, chances are you won't be happy anyplace." Ernie Banks
Work to reach that deep understanding, not the superficial one that you get when you know the answers, but the one that comes when you feel the answers.
If you work at it, some day you will probably be able to forgive yourself.
Deep down I like who I am now I love her and the fact that she is honest, the fact that she has boundaries.
Learn to love the old person, not for what she did wrong, but for the simple reason that even she, flawed and imperfect as she was, deserved to be loved and understood.
What's "the easy way out"? That concerns me, and I'm someone you have never met but I can honestly say that your insight, your concerns, your desire to change your future for the better have given me so much hope in my own relationship. You have a lot of wonderful qualities! Don't sell yourself short.
Is there any way you can make a fresh start in place? Dedicate the next year of your life to making daily life easier for BS, and pat yourself on the back when you see that happen.
Unagie, I wish you a great 2014. A new year can be a fresh start as well.
I want to change my name and move far away and create a new life where no one knows me and I know no one.
You will never be abke to escape yourself. I can totally relate."Starting over" was one of my coping mechanisms. It never works in the long term. No matter where I went or what I did, I still had to live with me every day. Its still a work in progress. Probably always will be.
You have to know that you'll be OK. Just addressing these feelings proves that you're on you way to a better place. Sure, it sucks, but its part of the deal.
Hang in there. You WILL come out the other side of this.
It is counterintuitive really... the less we defend our well-being, the more well we feel. ~ Nancy Colier
What's "the easy way out"?
Its exactly what you think it is suicide to be blunt. I thought that was another thought process I'd beaten but the idea creeps in when I'm in the most pain. I know its a bad and horrible idea but just being honest about where my mind goes sometimes. It won't happen, I really do love myself, sometimes its just hard to live with all of me.
It won't happen, I really do love myself, sometimes its just hard to live with all of me.
Deep down I like who I am now I love her and the fact that she is honest, the fact that she has boundaries
[This message edited by SlowUptake at 4:05 AM, January 6th (Monday)]
"Do not say a little in many words but a great deal in a few." Pythagoras
There are two kinds of people in the world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.