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Newest Member: bflyhigh (61471)

User Topic: Not sure what to do now
♀ 40271
Member # 40271
Default  Posted: 1:59 PM, January 2nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been reading this site for over a year and have found it incredibly helpful but have never posted. I do not feel like I have the energy to write my full story right now but am hoping to get some advice or strength from posting here. My husband is an alcoholic. Discovering my husband's affair with an older, unattractive married co worker in summer 2012 led to an intervention and a 30 day treatment program. The affair has continued and I am not sure what to do.

[This message edited by Sweetpea99 at 2:09 PM, January 2nd (Thursday)]

Posts: 2 | Registered: Aug 2013
♂ 27650
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, January 2nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Sweatpea99,

Have you notified the OW's BS?

Does your family know of his A? His family?

Is your WH stil drinking?

Have you spoken with an attorney about what a D would entail?

Have you read Not Just Friends by Glass and/or Sexual Detours by Hines?

More details would really help us to target advice.

dday 10.5.09

Posts: 4173 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
♀ 24719
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, January 2nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another intervention? In the form of a confrontation, and a rundown of what you need to feel safe in your marriage.

Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"

Posts: 2303 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Kentucky
♀ 40271
Member # 40271
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, January 2nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much for your responses. I will try and post more details later on, I am trying to do the 180 stuff and will read as much as I can.

Posts: 2 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, January 2nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he's still in the A, then he has essentially fired you from the job of being wife. He's relegated you to being the fall-back plan. And that's utter bull.

I would earnestly suggest that you see a lawyer ASAP and file for legal separation at the least. That will freeze your debits and assets so he cannot spend them all on his HoWorker. You're going to need to protect yourself because he will not. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10056 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 5

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