"And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be."
- Sarah McMane
I'm not sure I could've held my tongue and not said something rude back... But then again, I have a pretty mean stare too.
If this is truly a friend... I would go and have a conversation with them and ask why they would've said something so rude and off-putting.
Also, if it were me... I'd be putting some distance between myself and that person.
Status: D 2011
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
I no longer remember percentages, but a really high percent (like 40%) of our happiness is based on how we react. You can get offended, make a snarky remark, and make people walk on eggshells around you, or you can take a step back and not let it bother you. (I'm not talking about romantic or other deep relationships, but more superficial ones, like this one sounds to be, or like the ones with my coworkers are.)
I always assume good intentions unless there is reason to believe otherwise. Given how you described yourself, I doubt this person was serious. If you were overweight, then I'd agree that it's really rude.
Since you are thin, my guess is this person is a bit socially awkward and made a (bad) joke. I am very athletic, in great shape, and eat about 3 times more than you'd expect for someone my size. People always remark on it, and I'll just joke about winning eating competitions, picking up a second job to pay my grocery bill, or saying that's why I run so much -- my cookie addiction, etc.
If someone makes a comment about your clothes, respond, "Thanks; I love these pants!" or "Isn't it so pretty? Thanks for the compliment!"
I'm sure there are people who will disagree with me (there are already above me!) but I feel that life is way too short to let people like that get you down, and deflecting usually does the job.
Now, if it's a really rude comment, I'd look at them and say, "Why would you say that?" but I've only ever had to use that with XMIL!!!
ETA: To make it clear that I receive and don't give odd comments to people.
[This message edited by phmh at 10:14 PM, January 2nd (Thursday)]
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
either way, its not acceptable, and I would respond pretty much by saying, "wow, that was hurtful. why did you say that"
in response to people making fun of your style, I would smile and say, "Oh, I love these pants. Isn't it great that we all have different tastes, the world would be boring if we all were the same!"
Really in that type of sitch, my rule of thumb is a fierce look and silence.
I chuckle then say, "Oh that's so cute! You actually think I care about your opinion!"
WH#2 (suicide prior to finalized divorce)
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Being rude is about the person that is being rude, not who they are being rude too.
I have started to say things like "i am sorry you feel that way" and move on.
I actually did this to my step-grandmother over christmas. I now have a wacked out thyroid and put on almost 15 pounds in about a month and a half.
She push on my muffin top (i can't afford new jeans right now) and told me I needed to loose some weight. I told her that i am sorry she felt the need to point that out, and walked away.
I know that i am now fatter then I was before, but its more complicated then just getting on a treadmill now. I have only been on meds about 6 weeks, and we have not stabilized my dose yet.
and if the friend repeated it, I would have said "If you're done eating, you can put down your fork. I'm still enjoying my meal, thanks."
Or, the response would have been "Fuck you".
That depends on the time of the month with me.